The Chronicles of Wicked

Hi Guys

2010-01-25T11:06:00.000-08:00

Hi All - I know that I've been missing for quite sometime, which simply is not true - I've been around, but I've been playing other games and I've been re-prioritizing things in my life.

I've started a new blog, and you can keep up with me there if you'd like.

Also, I'm playing Call of Duty 2 - Modern Warfare right now.

Miss ya'll much and I hope you're doing well - drop me a line and give me a holla!

ciao!

Wicked "REALLY REALLY misses your mom" Liquids!

Eep!

2009-03-26T12:12:00.000-07:00

Heya - wow, it's been so long since I've posted last; do I have lots to write about? Yuppers. Am I going to write about it? Noppers. Well, that's not true - I'll write a little bit about it. But not quite yet.

I'm considering very much to alter my blog content. I don't play Lineage at all anymore, nor do I even look at other peoples blogs other than maybe a few the last couple of months.

However, that doesn't mean I don't play games...I do play games...lots of games! hehehe

I did just check out the Lineage website....was kind of wierd.....

Anyway, as for content, I've gone back into Collecting.....cards....the GOOD stuff!!!

So with that said, I'm going to mix some personal, gaming, and cards into the mix.

Ok, more later!

Wicked "Misses your mom" Liquids!

what?

2008-12-19T19:32:00.001-08:00

Hey...still here...no time to update. I have to update a LOT of shit, but I've been fucking tired beyond belief.

But I have one of those mega posts that I'll be doing soon.

Promise.

mj

Oops.....

2008-12-16T21:26:00.000-08:00

Update coming - across the board - yelp, facebook, myspace.

Please be patient.

Thanks,

MJ

Howdy

2008-11-27T11:14:00.000-08:00

It must be Thanksgiving - the roads are empty as I can barely hear a car zoom by. I'm at work...yuppers, I have to work, and it's been interesting thus far.

I'm tired as I couldn't sleep at all yesterday. I booked my flight home for Christmas AND I booked another flight to SoCal because I have a corporate meeting next month....yay! A $1,000 bucks spent within 15 minutes of each other. That's always exciting, isn't it?

Well, I'm going to put my sarcasm aside and take a moment to thank a few people

I thank my family, friends, my co-workers....well, just about everything and everybody. When I pop open Yahoo and see the people around the world - not just the hungry and the homeless, but those people who are nowhere near our level of civility, due to whatever reasons - poor government rule, etc....well, makes my life not so miserable. Do NOT read into that as being pretentious. What I meant was that there are many people in this world who have no running water, do not have ANY concept of cable tv, etc - those things that we take for granted...bring them to the US and they'd be in a world that they've never known.

It truly makes my problems trivial. This is that time of the year when I'm thankful for the people I know and the life that I live. It's also the time of the year when I begin to reflect and well..you know that New Year's song...I don't know the name of it, but there's a line where it says, "Let old acquaintances be forgotten...." I hate that fucking line.

Absolutely hate it.

I'd rather not "forget" them. They've help me mold me to be the person I am now, to know that there better things in life...and somethings in life that you'll never let go. I don't ever regret the past...my past, the wrong that I have done, the right that I have done, and the people that I've encountered have truly molded me into who I am....but always remember, it's what you do from this point on that defines you. You're past only shapes you....your decisions now will be what makes you, it will be your defining moment.

Well, I'll write more tonight....I've been invited to a couple of places for Thanksgiving...but I think I'd like to just spend it alone at home....unless some hot girl wants to come over and kick it....then I'll have to reconsider....hahahaha sorry, I had to throw that last line in.

Ok, more later tonight.

MJ

A cold Bud.....

2008-11-24T18:14:00.000-08:00

Hey there....so I cut my drinking down...well, does 1 day count? I drank a glass of wine last night and couldn't finish it - it was terrible.

Let's see, where do I start...works gotten decent, still a bit difficult, but a good challenge in every way.

The weekend was fun. I do mean FUN. hehehehe

Yesterday, I didn't do anything, not even any errands or chores. I took a seat on the couch, kicked it back with a cup of coffee and/or some hot chocolate, and put in Season 10 of Friends and watched most of it. I was so tired, I went to bed at 8:30, turned the TV onto the USA network and watched House for the next 4 hours - that show is tooooooo good.

Then I went to sleep.

I'm just not in the writing mood, but I had to write to let ya'll know what I've been up to, that I'm ok, and things are getting better. At least I hope they are.

Yes, I DO have a ton to write about in regards to my adventures (come on, did you seriously think that I wouldn't have any adventures? I got a freaking boatload). However, I don't feel that writing about it now would be that all great only because I'm not in the mood and ya'll know how I write - it's the best ever when I'm on my game and my game is OFF :)

I bought that movie Tropic Thunder today, so I'm going to grab a beer, do some laundry, and just kick it the rest of the night.

Late.

MJ

I was in San Ramon today....all day.....

2008-11-20T17:21:00.001-08:00

....because I had some corporate meetings. I've been so tired lately, really haven't eaten anything. But my days are getting better. My apartment is a wreck only because I've had no time to clean it up. I won't have time till Saturday morning and when that day comes, I'll clean the living heck out of it.

Anyway, I wanted to write a quote down before I forgot it. I know the mantra that I live by now is what I go by...but there's another one...one that's so incredibly eloquent and by one of my most favorite authors. How I could have forgotten it is beyond me:

"What you do speaks so loudly, I can hardly hear what you say."

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

I left something out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-11-15T20:27:00.000-08:00

Oh man, i left this out and I wanted to write somethjing about it. I pass out after I get home around 1 pm and I wake up at 2 pm and i'm just mewssing around and watching tv and i noticed that i can't find skittles, my crazy cat. i look around and I hear her meowing like crazy, but I just ignore it cuz I'm thinking she' sjust runing around during her fucking crazy ass shit.

About an hour later and I'm done watching tv, I walk out to the balcony and I hear her meowing....but this time, it's OUTSIDE some where. I don't panic or nuthnin lik e that; I just grab tic tac and walk out to the side of the 3rd floor where I live and I"m looking around listeningt for her meowing.

I'm looking and i'm looking and i fiannly see her; she's on the ground floor. Of course I immeidately thyink to myslef, how the fuck did she get all tye way down there cuz we're on the 3rd floor. I grab tic tac and get on th eelevator and head down as qucik as I could. I get down to the patio where she's hiding and she's snuggled up, not moving, but crying like she hasn't seen her daddy in decades.

I feel horrible!

I pick her up and bring hjer back up to the arpartment and i gently set her down.

Uh oh.

She's limping.

I guess that 2 story fall down, she must have sprained her leg. She can walk around so I know nothings broken, but her leg must be hurting something awful.

If she doesn't get better by next week, I'll take her to the vet to get her xrayed.

The moral of the story?

Skittles, just as Tic Tac is, is like my child. As as my child, I would protect and defend her with my life. If she's injured, I'd give me blood to her to make sure she was ok.

I'd give my life.

And my daddy instincts came out...I needed to protect her. So whenI did bring her up, I cradled her in my arms for awhile to just let her know that daddy was here. She's ok now, but she'll need a few more days rest.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

I am the durnkorzx!

2008-11-15T19:29:00.000-08:00

haha I just tried to read my title, but even I could not read it.

I've had a REALLY fucking shitty past few days which is why I haven't been as vociferous as before. Um, here's the breakdown. I left work early yesterayd? was it yesterday? I left at 12, got home at 1, started drinking, and I chilled the rest of the night.

I thoguht I was gettin better, but I can see now that I am not. I think I am trying ot hard and it's having an opposite effect. Regardless, I was suppose to hang with some peopel last night, but htat got fucking blown to hell. I got so upset and looking back, I should not have. But at the same time, it was a fucking ghetto ass lame excuse and although I should not have gotten angry, I will not apologizie. I have come to realize that I am a good, resonable person and when I fuck up, I will be jupming up and down to say im sorry. If i didn't fuck up, then fuck you, I'm nto saying FUCKIGN SHIT.

I got up this morning atnd at 9 am, started drinking. I'm beginning to see the signs now. I think I'm in trouble, but not sure yet. I stopped enough to go get a haircut - oh this is cool

My hairstylist speaks Farsi!!!!

Whty does this matter?

After my haircut, I hadEVER intention to go get ink. I didn't want something huge, just something that was very personal to me. I wn't get into detail;l because I just said wat I did - it's for ME...so don't bother fucking askine me what it was going to be.

I talked to my friend stephanie and she's getting some ink done next week in Texas. Then I talked to my bestest friend in the workd, Kassie, and she freaking GOT HELLA FUCKING MAD at me for even thinking about getting ink. I didnt argue with her, I just talked to her and.........sigh............she convinced me not to get it done. I'm still thnking about going back and getting it done.

It's my life. It's what I need.

If you could only step into my mind, you'd know how complex and frustrating I can be.

On the surface, I present one way....but get to know me....well...this sounds so arrogant....but I love talking to people smarter than me....only because one day, I plan on outsmarting them.

This isthe NUBMER ONE REASON why I know about so much bullshit. Ahem....ok, not bullshit, but information that is probably 100% completely irrelevant to you....but it means everythging to me.

Talk to me sometime....then I think you'll understand.

Ok, I am going to get some more wine, watch a movie, whatevers.

Maybe I'll get the ink tomorrow.

MJJJJJJJ! :) I m the durnkorsz!

It's 3 AM I must be lonely....

2008-11-13T05:29:00.000-08:00

...you know the lyrics...from Matchbox 20's 3 AM. Well, it's not quite 3 AM, but it's early.

I drank a few glasses of wine last night and I was so tired and exhausted from the day that I went to bed at precisely 8:48 PM. I put on some music on my headphones, turned on the tv, set the sleeper time, and knocked the hell out.

I mean I fucking fell ASLEEP.

I got up about 30 minutes ago and my body was aching...yuck. Forced myself into the shower to warm up and I wanted to hit a post before I started getting ready for work.

I feel a little better this morning...kind of...not really. I have a marketing event that I'm hosting today and it's going to be a super long day for me. I'm looking at about a 12 to 14 hour day. If I'm lucky, I'll be home around 8 or 9 PM. I got on break on Friday, then I'm doing another similar event on Saturday. Although it won't be a 14 hour day, it'll be a long day nevertheless.

Sorry about my rant yesterday....I was just annoyed, that's all, but I'm over it. I'm in an industry where people literally complain all day and sometimes, it just wears me down. Yesterday was one of those days.

Alright, well, I'm going to fill up my coffee cup and kick it on the patio for a little while. It's really foggy today, so if you live up in NorCal, drive safe.

See ya'll....

MJ

Oh goodness....

2008-11-12T19:35:00.000-08:00

I drank too much again. Ok, not that much. But enough to make me tired. It's not even fucking 8 o'clock yet.

Eek!

It's ok. I'm going to knock out.

Goodnight.

MJ

I'm on edge today...and I don't know why.

2008-11-12T12:04:00.000-08:00

I have been on SUPER edge today. I'm popping off on EVERYONE and I can't figure out why. Everyone knows I can be firm, even aggressive, but today....today is the day that ALL my staff is keeping 100 feet away from me. They know I'm mad (but I can't explain why), they know I'm pissed, (but I can't explain why), they know that they better answer me very, very fast and the answer better be good or they might get their heads chewed off.

This side of me is extraordinarily uncharacteristic of me and very unbecoming. I just keep getting this nagging sensation over and over I don't feel like dealing with anyone's shit.

I know we all have problems. My job is to deal with problems. And normally, I'll listen to problems and do my best to advise and guide people the right way.

No one ever bothers to ask me about MY problems.

I'm puzzled by the simple fact that so many damn people on this planet CLEARLY ENJOY MAKING THE SAME DAMN MISTAKE OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND THEN CRY AND BITCH ABOUT MAKING THE PROBLEM.

WHY DO PEOPLE INSIST ON CONTINUALLY MAKING PROBLEMS REPETITIVE?

YOU MADE THE PROBLEM AND NOW YOU WANT TO MAKE IT MINE??!!

WHY DO PEOPLE ABSOLUTELY REFUSE TO STOP MAKING THE SAME MISTAKE OVER AND OVER AGAIN?

ARE THEY THAT STUPID?????~!!!!

For God's sake, wake the hell up and fix your shit.

If you're not happy in life, then you're CHOOSING to not be happy.

Sigh........

Deep breath.

Deep breath.

Deep breath.

Thanks....I needed to get that out.

Bye.

MJ

Exhausted. Lost my car.

2008-11-12T07:19:00.000-08:00

It's about 7:30 AM....I got drunk again last night, fumbled home around midnight, can't remember changing clothes, and fell asleep.

I woke up, as usual, at 5 AM. Again, my eyes popped open and I never fell back asleep. I got up, made a cup of coffee and did my morning ritual, which consisted of quietly sitting on the patio, smoking a cigarette, sipping my coffee and just contemplating my day.

I got dressed, looked for my keys because I had left my gate key in my car. I walked out to the parking garage and...I lost my car. I couldn't remember where I had parked it. I went through 3 floors of the parking garage, up and down, with Tic Tac in tow, looking for my fucking car.

After 15 minutes, I finally found the fucker parked just one level up, but off to the side.

Hmmm.....I know I shouldn't be feeling this way, but I found it funny. I'm not doing anything tonight. I've decided that I'm going to just clean the living shit out of my apartment, which I started about 20 minutes ago. I'm not at work yet because I have to drop by a place this morning before I go in, which is going to make me 2 hours late than my normal schedule. Thus the early morning post. I have nothing to do for the next hour, so I thought I'd write a little bit here and try to get my day going.

Ok...forgetting where my car is, is not a good idea. I realize that now.

Sigh....more later.

I feel a little ill.....

2008-11-11T08:37:00.000-08:00

I got home last night and started drinking immediately. Then I took a shower and went out and drank some more...yes, I'm very aware it was a Monday. Hey, I even ate a little bit. I think that's what made me sick.

But this isn't why I'm ill. I spoke to a friend of mine on the way home, a very good friend actually that I've known for years and she completely BLASTED me. I mean, she was yelling and screaming at me...why?

She said I was an alcoholic and she was pissed off at me.

I argued with her most of the way home.

She made some valid points and I really had to think about what she said. This is the part that made me a bit ill. The most valid point was, "MJ, birds of a feather flock together. A REAL friend tells you that you're drinking too much and you need to slow it down. A REAL friend doesn't encourage you to drink that much. A REAL friend DOES NOT support you when you respond back with, "J, I'm not an alcoholic and I don't drink too much." Her response?

"Yes you do. You hang out with people and all they do is drink. When one person drinks too much, they don't want to drink alone so they fucking drag you down. And you're only ok with it because guess what? YOU dont' want to drink alone either. You need to check your friends. If they live a lifestyle like yours, guess what? They think that it's ok because if they fuck up, you'll fuck up with them. What the hell is your problem M??!! This is not like you. You're smarter. Your friends pull this shit and you're ok with it? Maybe you can't see it. Maybe you think you're doing right. Thank god you have a fucking job and you're doing ok. Don't end up losing your job over this. Where are you friends going to be? Are they going to pay for your shit? Nope. Knock it off, ok?"

Sigh....she's right. But instead of me drinking more, I'll have my friends cut back too so they don't drink as much.

But J, you're right. Birds of a feather DO flock together. What was that quote? Oh yeah....misery loves company. I guess when you throw alcohol into the mix, what you can get sometimes is less of yourself. And when you're drinking with friends, it's even harder to see.

Then one day you'll wake up and see it.

And by then, it's too late.

Kinda cold.

2008-11-10T11:14:00.000-08:00

I'm taking a slightly earlier lunch today. I forgot to mention something earlier, but the last week or so, I've been cold. Unusually cold. I was thinking it was alcohol related, but I'm not sure. I'm so cold, I'll stand in the shower for 30 minutes or run warm water over my hands just to warm up. I'm always bundled up and the heater is on. I know it's winter time, but I just can't seem to warm up at all.

I've gone through 5 cups of coffee and 2 cups of hot cocoa today and 3 cups of soup; this is really strange. Oh well.

I'm a bit tired too...physically, I just feel weird. Ugh.

I'm sure it's nothing a few glasses of wine can't fix.

That's the wrong answer, isn't it?

Monday....

2008-11-10T08:29:00.000-08:00

I had a terrible night of sleep, tossing and turning through most of it. I didn't drink that much yesterday either, maybe a few glasses of wine.

My weekend was mediocre...I didn't feel like doing much during the day. I sat and played a few games, enjoyed the wine, watched a ton of movies, and took a couple of naps; I guess you can say it was the laziest of all the weekends I've ever had.

Well, no, that's not true...but this weekend, I just wasn't motivated to do much of anything.

I'm in the office and we're going to go through some major stuff this week and looking at my schedule, it won't let up till....the first of next month. But this is ok. I need to stay busy anyway. Helps me keep my mind off of things.

My fasting took a minor break over the weekend....I ate about 4 oz of food...heh...I know, this isn't necessarily good for me....all my clothes are too big...but at this rate, I'll have 6 pack abs in about 2 weeks, so there's that give-off.

Also, I've gone ahead and decided to get ink. Not the type of ink that's so obnoxious, I want to show it off to everyone.

I want to get ink to represent my life. It'll be...well, after I get it done, I'll show you.

9 words that represent my life and everything about me. I'm broken right now and I know it. This is one of the ways I will fix myself. Permanently.

I have to get to work...I'll post something at my lunch break.

Take care.

Wristcutters....a love story...

2008-11-08T09:23:00.000-08:00

WTF....Shit, I got a lot to write about.

First of all, thanks for not giving me shit over last night. It really was a blur. I should not have done what I did. It was....well, driving while drunk is never, EVER an option. So if I offended you, I'm sorry. I just needed that exhilaration, that rush. It's a one time thing, I assure you.

I knocked out so hard at around 4 AM...but I got up at 6 AM. I think, I KNOW, I'm the only person that I know of that can get up after 2 hours of sleep, being hella fucking drunk the night before, and be completely fine and ready to go for the day. Yup, I can do this. It's a talent.

I will admit, I'm a slightly bit worried....I'll explain in a second. But lemme tell you why I was up so early. I saw an ad at Walmart a couple of days ago; they had a sale on a specific laptop for only $300 bucks. I had bought an IBook about...um...2 or 3 weeks ago as a Christmas present, but I returned that earlier this week. I took the $2,500 and said I'd just put it aside...well, $2k of it, the remaining $500, I was going to play with. I was wanting the laptop, but when I got there, there was already a line and I missed out.

Guess what?

I was ok with it. I had WANTED the laptop, but didn't desire it. I guess my mantra of "If I do not desire, I will not suffer" fit in just nicely. I shrugged it off, bought some normal stuff like toothpaste, etc, and left.

I got home and started to hella clean...as a matter of fact, I'm taking a break from it now. Here's my problem...instead of stirring up that hot cup of coffee that I normally drink, I....sigh....*deep inhale*....I grabbed a bottle of Noir sitting on my counter, poured myself a glass, and started to drink.

I've never drank at 8:30 in the morning before.

Fuck.

So I'm taking a break and at Walmart I picked up 3 scary movies....no one's ever heard of them before, I'm sure, but I just needed something in front of me to take my mind off of things.

I put in....Mulberry St...it's a horror flick...lol you know I'm deftly afraid of scary movies....but I'll try damn it....and I'll always try - I'm a fighter. I caught a glimpse of a preview of a movie that came out a couple of years ago. I actually listened to it...then as I was hearing the voice-over, I turned my head to watch the preview.

"Wristcutters: A Love Story"

I was in complete awe. Here's the breakdown:

"Trapped in an alternate world populated by suicide victims, a band of souls tries to find an escape route in Goran Dukic's quirky fantasy. Although he took his own life, Zia (Patrick Fugit) isn't ready for such a grim hereafter, particularly when he learns that his ex-girlfriend also killed herself. On a quest to find her, he befriends a jaded hitchhiker and a Russian rocker, and together, they set out in search of a more appealing afterlife."

Trust me, the preview was far better. Imagine living in a world where everyone is dead, no one can smile, and everyone is there because they killed themselves. I completely find this concept fascinating and I HAVE to have this movie. I found it on Amazon, but I'm going to call Blockbuster in a few to see if they have it, then I can run down the street and pick it up.

I'm still sad from this week.

It's been tough.

But I'm getting better.

I really am.

"If I do not desire, I will not suffer."

I'm druink...

2008-11-08T04:02:00.000-08:00

...I know, I'm not suppose to start a post off with "i'm druink", right? Well I am.

guess what? I did something SOOO wreckelss tonight that it was fucking exhilarating!

I was invited out to north oakland tonight....ummm....Rockford? Rockhill? It was rock something...a nother typicla north cali town...looked all the fucking same to me. Anyway, I went to Zahcary's, a pizze joint but it was a New York style pizza place and it was the SHIT!!!!! My buddy met me there for a slice a few bottles of beer and afterwards, I took off to the city.
I wasn't suppose to go, but I was like, you know, whatever, wht the fuck else am I going to do? So I toook off there, met a friend and ahve a tone of beers and drove home.

This is the par t that I can't expain well.

Muy drive home at 4 am was intense. I could see everything and everyone around me. I was going 120 mph in a 55 mph zone. I scecrety prayed that the cops would catch me and pull over....guess what? I guess fate was on myside...I saw at least half a dozen cops pulling people over, but me? Nope. I just kpe t going. I even went 80 mph in a 35 mpz zone and i kept going, all the way back home. What should have been a 40 minute drive literaly took me 20 minutes. I BLED and BURNED all the way home, like there wasn't a thing tha tcould stop or slow me down. I was serving, sure of where I was and where I needed to be....it was beyond amazing. It was the most beautiful drive I had ever done....and I don't know why, but instead of slowing down, I just kept going faster and faster and faster and faster....I felt invincible....it truly was amazng.

Ok, I am tired and I need slep. I need to get up at 6 am for something. MOre on that later.

Love yall!!!!!!

MJ

My puppy doesn't seem right today...

2008-11-07T10:19:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting here focusing on the computer, doing what I do everyday...fun. I'm typing out an email and I look over at Tic Tac....he's not right.

I stopped typing and just stared at him. He's a very rambunctious little guy, running around, saying hello to everyone, wanting you to play with him. But right now, he's not. He seems...I don't think he's sick. But he seems so sad. It's kind of hard to describe. Here, take a look:

It's almost as if he's crying...and I'm at a loss as to why. He just will not move. He was eating an hour ago like he normally does, but take a look at his face...he's just so sad looking. And it's killing me...I hate seeing my kid sad like that....fudge.

It's Morning....

2008-11-07T08:36:00.001-08:00

I'm doing much better today. I'm steadily finding my center again. My thoughts are more calm, I'm relaxed...I'm accepting life as it is. All over again. I find it ironic that the title of my myspace blog is, "If I could do it all over again."

I'm surprised that I've been able to follow facets of the Buddhist faith. Maybe I was Buddhist all along and didn't know it. I'm going on day 5 with absolutely no appetite. You could shove the juiciest steak in front of me and I won't, can't, eat it. Thus far, I've been living off of hot chocolate, coffee, water, and various forms of alcohol. I repeat, I am not an alcoholic. I guess you can say that I'm cleansing myself.

I ran into a hurdle earlier this week and I can't remember if I wrote about it or not. My lease is up a month sooner than I thought so I'll need to move again. I've learned the area, in the mildest sense, but I don't know where to go.

I love my apartment complex, but there's a lot of memories there....it's a karma thing. I think it would be in my best interest to move and start all over again.

I don't have anything spectacular planned this weekend. I do know that I'll start my normal process of being WELL prepared before I move. I know I'm 2 1/2 moths ahead, but when I know that I'm moving, I pull out the trashbags and go to work. I did that when I moved up here from Huntington Beach...I got rid of so much stuff, it was outrageous. This time around, I'm pretty sure it's going to be clothes. I had to try on 3 shirts this morning before I found one that fit right. I guess this fasting thing must be working...the shirts were WAY too big, looked like I had flaps on my side. So I'll spend this morning minimizing my apartment.

I think, with the market the way it is, I can find something bigger for less, which is what I'm going to focus on. Maybe even a house. I looked on Craigslist yesterday and saw a few houses in the area that were $200 less than what I'm paying for an apartment. I would get my own driveway, my own garage, just my own space without having everyone around me. Maybe I could fix my damn bike and have it ready for the spring. Tic Tac would have a yard and I might get him a little sister to play with. I dunno.

Ok, that's all for now...need to get ready for the day.

MJ

I just got home.......

2008-11-06T17:01:00.000-08:00

....I spent most of the day...well...you see my blog posts.....I posted like crazy in the morning. There are times when I need to get things off my chest and I'd rather write it down...this way, no one has to listen, no one has to talk back...I just want to speak without anyone talking back...I just want to be heard.

I wanted to start a post earlier this evening...I drank too much last night and just passed out. Yeah, I'm drinking again. A lot. I have a movie on and I've got 5 bottles of wine waiting in front of me.

Thank you for not calling me an alcoholic...I'm not. But when you come from where I am...well, a drink or two or 10 helps. We're all from different backgrounds and have different reasons for our misery.

But I'm not miserable.

I'm just trying to figure out what to do next. I know my own M.O. I know, from my past, what I'm going to do next. And it sucks. I like it here.

Maybe for once, I'll stick it out.

Maybe I need to take a vacation.

I don't know. I've been so confused lately. But I know me well enough...I'm steady...and I'll be able to handle what comes my way.

Just did not want to do it alone.

"If I do not desire, I will not suffer."

I have no more hate in my heart.

2008-11-06T11:21:00.000-08:00

Hate is such a strong word. It's an even stronger emotion.

It's a waste.

I no longer have hate in my heart, I no longer have anger in my soul.

I truly am too compassionate. I respect myself too much for it.

It reminds me a lot of that song Scars:

"I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And my scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel"

I am very much a human being. I just do not have anymore room in my heart for pain, anger, hate, frustration.

I'm at peace.

The definition of my quote above....

2008-11-06T08:21:00.000-08:00

"Some things change to move us, some things change to keep us exactly where we are."

I read this to myself when I got onto my blog. I thought it through. I thought of this one day on the drive home. It's so true....I'll explain it:

There are things in our life that makes us change what we do. Sometimes, it opens doors for us that are scary, but are very much real. And then there are things that change, another door opening, that puts us right back where we started; because we were afraid. We allow the change to move us back to where we were.

The people with fear, with self-doubt...they wait for that change to move them back. It's unfortunate, but it is what it is. Imagine something awesome in front of you. Imagine it to be something you've always wanted in your life. Then you start thinking a little bit and it begins to make you nervous. And then, even a little more nervous.

At this point, you have a choice; stand your ground and move forward or cower and start taking steps back. I think it's safe to say that 99% of us cower and take a step back...we're all afraid of change.

I am not.

It's the 99% that decide to step back that have the difficulty of living a fruitful life. They want to go back to their misery and pain. They pass up that beautiful and bold adventure in front of them.

I do not.

I'm not afraid.

But this is ok...it's their choice. It's their life. Go back to doing what you've always wanted to do. This is perfectly fine and if you're happy, why not? If I was a lesser person, I would be condescending, but I won't, because I'm not a lesser person. And I don't want to be judgemental. In fact, I'll support your decisions. If you're happy, then nothing else matters.

So now you see what that quote means....move forward or stay behind.

I'm different now. I had a defining moment.

2008-11-06T07:38:00.000-08:00

Obviously this week has been horrendous for me. I was home last night, drinking wine and talking to friends...and I admit, I had too much. I crashed into bed at 11 PM and I don't ever remember falling asleep. I had a semi-nightmare and I can't remember much about it. What I do know is that about 3 AM, my eye's just opened. Nothing dramatic. I just woke up.

I got up, made a cup of coffee, put on a sweater, and sat out on my patio with a cigarette, looking up at the stars...I had missed my stars...haven't seen them in awhile. I made a wish, which I try to do every night (I know, I can be a softy sometimes). I've made the exact same wish since I was a kid, changing it every so often. I changed it last night and said, "I wish for xxxxxx xxxxxxxxx, to be safe and happy." Most people wish for things for themselves. Not this time. In my heart, I made a wish for someone else. :-)

I felt different. As if something just kind of came over me. I said to myself, "If I do not desire, I will not suffer," which I think I've said this to myself probably over a 1,000 times this week. And that's when it clicked. You say something long enough, you begin to believe it. The polar opposite of that being, if you lie long enough, you'll even begin to believe your own lies.

I was lying to myself. I just woke up and clearly chose to no longer suffer. I think at that point, I came to realize that with all my excessive thinking in the past week, I began to believe what I was saying.

If I do not desire, I will not suffer.

I know that I have made so many awful mistakes in my past. I didn't know what I was doing and I didn't know that what I was doing was hurting so many people. I lost as many friends as I had made.

No, I'm not going religious. This doesn't have anything to do with religion.

I guess what I'm trying to clearly state is this; the awful things I have done have been returned to me. Each terrible thing, has come back.

It's clear...it's karma. I did wrong. Wrong has come to reclaim what's rightfully hers.

I will not do terrible things anymore.

I will show kindness and compassion, which has always been in my nature.

I will do right.

I will support and stand my ground.

I will let people know that I mean no harm. My intentions will always be pure.

I often think to myself how my life would have been if I had stuck to this earlier. Maybe I wouldn't have been hurting so bad.

I cannot change the past...but I can change my life from this point on.

If I do not desire, I will not suffer.

I think I'm turning into a Buddhist more and more everyday. There's only a singular concern and that's with the 8 Truths. One of them, essentially states specifically no drinking.

Hmmm....this one will be more of a challenge.

What matters to me the most is that I find peace and love in my heart. If I cannot love myself, then how can I love anybody else?

Oh, there is one more aspect about Buddhism....fasting.

I love food. But I would like to try this. Actually, I started this past Monday. It doesn't state how long you have to fast...it just states that you do it. I haven't eaten since Monday. We'll see how that one goes (But good God I'm craving Taco Bell and MacDonalds lol).

I hope you have a good day.

I know I will certainly try.

MJ

I've had too much to drink...

2008-11-05T20:09:00.000-08:00

To my friends that know me in real life and you're checking up on me....I'm ok....I'm alive....give me time, ok? Please? I love ya'll....you're my friends....I'd go to the end of the world of ya'll....forgive me for disappearing or not returning phone calls.

It's safe to say that I'm drunk again. I drink too much. I know this. I think it would be in my best interest to stop or slow down.

I promise you this....my drinking will not change who I am. I will stay honest, I will stay true to myself and who I am.

It's only 8:11PM and I'm already exhausted so I will probably go to bed. I just need to close my eyes.

Tic Tac says goodnite....good God...my puppy is so good...he loves me and looks at me...I can almost see it in his eyes....he's saying, "Daddy...it's ok, I love you."

It kills me.

This is why I spoil my dog.

I'd spoil my other dog if I could.....

If I could....

To my friends...I love ya'll...I hope ya'll are safe and doing well. I'll pick up the phone one day. I promise.

"If I do not desire, I will not suffer."

Made it home ok.

2008-11-05T17:39:00.000-08:00

I made it home ok...drove up, checked the mail, which I have tons of...parked the car, walked into the apartment...peeled off my work clothes, pulled out all the wine I got from Bevmo, warmed up the computer, poured a heavy pour of some Noir, turned on the TV....and here I am.

I'm doing this blog, drinking some wine, watching a movie. It's called Definitely, Maybe. And I really like it.

The movie is so sweet....It's a romantic comedy. I know right? You'd think I'd be the last person on this earth watching a movie like this. I like all movies. I have preferences...but I don't mind watching flicks like this. Makes me smile sometimes. And I could use anything right now to make me smile.

I think a couple of posts down, I had written, at the end, "If I do not desire, I will not suffer" as my ending tagline. I spent a lot of today thinking. I was looking back at my memories from when I was a kid, following a timeline all the way up to now. I was looking at my most happiest moments. And my most sad moments.

You know, it's funny....I do things in my life and sometimes, certain things, places, smells...they bring back memories of people.

I'll firmly believe in my tagline. Those sad moments? Because I had desired.

The suffering is not worth it anymore.

So I have to stop the desire.

I have a good job. I have my kids, Tic Tac and Skittles. I have my family.

There's not much more I need.

I'll lead a good life. I'll do right. I'll help those around me that need it.

And I'll never ask for anything in return.

But I will ask God to have patience with me and to please forgive me when I mess up.

Don't worry, this is not me giving up.

I never give up. I'm a fighter. Always have been.

I'm just tired. Really tired.

It's me accepting the fact that there is no one.

It's me understanding this. I'm smiling right now.

Be happy for me, ok?

This is all that I have left.

This is what I will be.

This is my life.

This is my happy ending.

"If I do not desire, I will not suffer."

Just trying to understand....

2008-11-05T13:50:00.000-08:00

I'm just trying to understand. I think that's why my heart is so heavy. Why would someone that loves me, lie to me? There's reasons for everything and I guess this is my way of finding my own answers because I will never know. I did some looking up on the internet and found some interesting quotes....it's helping me to cope. It's helping me to understand.

“I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you”

“Lying is done with words and also with silence.”

“We lie loudest when we lie to ourselves.”

“No one can lie, no one can hide anything, when he looks directly into someone's eyes.”

I truly believe I wrote what I did from my earlier posts because of this. I'm not a very good liar and when I do lie, it's not often. I just don't want to lie to anyone, ever. I don't even want to speak a half truth. I want to find dignity, honesty, and integrity within my being.

I want to be the better person.

I don't want to hurt anyone.

Ever.

An option.

2008-11-05T11:40:00.000-08:00

I'm taking a quick lunch break and I felt like writing again. I can't seem to stop writing for some reason. I just write and write and write. I have so much to say and no one to say it to. I guess I had a lot on my mind...and sometimes, I just want someone to listen. It's terrible I don't have my best friend anymore. It's pretty shitty actually.

I was walking down the hallway at work and I realized I was an option. You know that saying, "Don't make someone your priority when you're only an option to them."

I was an option.

It hurts thinking about that.

But it is what it is.

"If I do not desire, I will not suffer."

My head hurts....

2008-11-05T09:47:00.001-08:00

....my head always seems to hurt.

So does my heart.

Um....I don't want to get into details. I don't know anything anymore. I feel like I am nothing.

I have no hate in my heart. I wondered to myself why. The only answer I could find was that I am compassionate.

I care too much. I wish no ill-will on anyone. Maybe it has to do with karma. I just do not have it in my heart to hate, to be angry....to be a horrible person.

I've read up so much on karma and yin and yang and Buddhism, you would think I was a walking library.

I've chosen, right this second, to follow the rules listed below to lead my life. I've followed most of them, but I've never written them down. If I write it, then I have to follow it.

1 - I will never lie. I will never tell a half truth. I will always be true to myself and to you.
2 - I will never cheat. At the end of the day, I would only be hurting myself and those around me.
3 - I will never steal. Why take something that does not belong to me. I've worked hard and earned everything I have.
4 - I will not desire. Desire leads to suffering. I don't want to suffer anymore

There are only 4 rules and I've followed all of them in my life, having lapses every so often (with the exception of the cheating. I've NEVER in my life cheated on a girlfriend. And I will NEVER do it. I'm proud to have been able to stay steady).

Yes, I'm very broken right now.

I feel like I am very much....nothing.

Sometimes, even less than nothing.

And I know in my heart, I do not deserve this.

I have not been perfect in my life. But I must have done things to have this happen to me.

I'll lead a good life now and I'll do it by making sure to pay it forward.

But I won't desire anymore.

I just can't stand the suffering.

I can't.

Still not ready to tell you about Problem #2. But I will tell you THIS...

2008-11-03T12:01:00.000-08:00

...I'm starting to delve into the world of religions and faith again. More specifically, I'm finding Buddhism, Yin & Yang, and Karma more and more interesting.

I'm reading more and trying to understand better, much better, only because Buddhism, Yin & Yang, and Karma are not religions or religious relics, although some people do define Buddhism as a religion.

I'm choosing to read up and follow them for because they are a way of life. You will NEVER see someone dressed in an expensive, three-piece suit, perfectly white teeth, immaculate hair, on a Sunday morning show explaining why I'll go to hell if I don't give them 10% of my paycheck. I don't like speaking about religion; it opens things to argument. I don't mind arguing...I'll win. The point is that it is...

"...a way of life."

I've become interested in Buddhism, or more specifically Zen Buddhism, because it relays the message that, "...life is permeated with suffering caused by desire, that suffering ceases when desire ceases, and that enlightenment obtained through right conduct, wisdom, and mediatation releases one from desire, suffering, and rebirth."

Exactly.

My recent anxiety is just that to an extent. I have a desire. It weighs heavy on my heart. Get rid of the desire and my suffering stops. Very simple concept. Much more difficult to achieve.

I've always been a HUGE believer in Yin & Yang...to have one thing occur, it does not matter what that is, there will be a different outcome. Some good, some bad. But find someway to meet in the middle, then you have a perfect balance, which is what we all what to achieve. I'll write more about this one.

And lastly, there's Karma.

This one is just flat out scary. It works to such an effect...but none of us really think about it. I had a friend down south in the OC that was just having the hardest time of his life. He felt it was Karma....something that he had done wrong that was haunting him. He couldn't figure out what he had done, even after spending months looking and looking. And during that time, his life got worse and worse. He stopped trying to figure it out. He went to church, released his bad karma, and started fresh. After he went to church, and because I knew him pretty well, I helped him identify several things that may have been coming back to him.

He was lying often to his girlfriend, as a matter of fact, dumbfuck cheated on her twice (she left him which I applauded her - yeah, I know he's my friend, but somethings in life are simply wrong. Period. I still supported him as a friend though). He wrecked his car...he drank too much.

I remember, he looked me in the eye, understood what I was saying, and went back to church that following afternoon.

We met up for dinner that night and he realized that I was right. It was not a SINGLE act that condemned him. It was root of multiple acts that had finally found him.

As people say, karma is a bitch.

He's ok now, at least I think haha.

But that's not the complete definition of Karma...at least not for me.

Ok, I gotta go back to work - more later!

MJ

Something still isn't right...

2008-11-02T13:39:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning, well aware of the hour change....and I felt weird. The day just felt weird. I've had a lot of emotions, excessive thinking, essentially driving myself crazy in repetitive thought. I wonder sometimes why I do this and I have a very good answer.

Just like everybody on this planet, everyone's played chess at least once in their life. Some people like it and continue to play while others scoff and walk away. Then you have the casual people that play it off and on.

I'm the one in the middle, playing it online every so often. I never play anyone with a lower ranking than myself; I ALWAYS play someone with a significantly higher ranking. You kind of know why I do this already. And your reasoning is probably correct.

I remember being a little kid playing against the computer. I think at one point, my win/loss ratio was at about 10 to 4,403,405,040. Something along those lines. I wasn't very good. I was quite awful actually.

But looking back, what I sacrificed in those losses has clearly impacted in who I am now, or more specifically, how it has really affected my modality in regards to my thought processes. I truly believe this is a huge indicator of my anxiety levels going whacko.

Whenever I have a problem, I view it as a chess match.

I look at the variables. It's almost statistical, several what/if questions, movements to the what/if questions in response, etc.

I'll put it this way. You stand up and walk left...what do you do next? Well, only YOU would know that. In my mind, as I observe, I think as such:

"You've stood up and you're walking left. What are you going to do next? Well;
1 - go towards the bathroom
2 - go towards the kitchen
3 - go towards the front door"

But my anxiety levels can rapidly increase because as where most people will stop here, I take it even further...this is where the analogy of playing Chess comes in...this is how chess players win; they anticipate the end of the game before it's even started, they're aware of the final move before the first one even takes place.

And this is how I solve my problems, and it's a huge factor for me especially at work, and in my personal life. I watch, observe, listen, begin piecing things together.

Hmmm.....lemme try explaining it this way (I love giving examples lol):

Problem #1. Action #1. Problem #2. Action #4. Action #8. Action #6. Problem #5.

I look at the above and sort them out. See how the the action is the same? The difference is in the numbers. Even then, they are not sequential.

So I group the problems together and then the actions together.

(this is how I solve a lot of "people" related problems...of course that's related to just about everything as we deal with people everyday).

I observe. I pay attention. I pay SEVERE attention. Small words, actions...etc. It's amazing what I've taught myself to see through...I've gotten very good with reading half-truths as well. I know, that's contradictory to my previous two posts and my lapse in judgement there was that I simply let my guard down. Not to worry; it's back up now.

I throw in minor variables...like, "Wait a minute...that's not how he normally responds...what's going on there?"

And by playing this game in my head, I can solve problems, guess what the outcome is going to be, and should the problem-maker take a sharp detour from my thinking, well guess what? This is chess...I'll have an entirely set of moves/directions in a moment.

I hate to think dealing with people problems is like minimizing them to a game...it's not. It's simply the best analogy I could use.

So, this is why I've had such high anxiety in the last few weeks.

Let's recap: (read my earlier posts or the following will make no sense to you whatsoever)

#1 - My "instincts" have clearly picked up on the fact that there are problems right now that I have not been able to clearly identify. I see them. The little things. Now I'm piecing them together and playing the chess game in my head.

#2 - Half-truths are lies. Period. I've fixed myself of this shit problem REAL fast. I've decided that the next time I pick up on it, I will most likely have ZERO patience or tolerance for it.

#3 - I need wine.

haha!

There's actually a #3 and a #4.

I haven't written about problem #2 yet because I'm trying to calm down a bit from problem #1. I can safely say that because of problem #1, it truly has re-heightened my guard about half-truths. And this is not a bad thing.

Ok, I'm tired...going to watch some football or a movie or something. More later.

MJ

I was about to leave.....

2008-11-01T12:24:00.000-07:00

.....to go do my errands, but it started pouring! FUCK! lol it's ok. It's almost 12:30 in the afternoon, it's cold, raining...I love it...LOVE this weather...I need my GF here, a fireplace, my kids, some soothing music, and a glass or two of wine...

Wait a minute...I got the wine and one of the kids lol

I've been downloading different music lately....a ton of Billie Holiday and Ella Fitzgerald...they don't make'em like those two women anymore....this is REAL music by the way...no discs, no scratching, no turning...it's only a voice, a piano, and maybe a few horns...wow, now THIS is music... :-)

Hmmm....

MJ

An Epilogue (from my previous post).

2008-11-01T11:59:00.000-07:00

I meant to follow up last night on my post from the day before, but by the time I got home, I was exhausted and I just wanted to sit in silence. I didn't have a spectacular day and it progressively got worse. It would be much easier if I didn't go into detail, but I can say that my anxiety levels, instead of decreasing, actually increased again (why do some of my employees just not GET IT??!). And to cap it off, on my way home, I spoke to a friend and he and I got into a "discussion" about my previous blog post.

Thus the need for an Epilogue.

Well, even before I begin my post, let me preface it with this; I got my sorry ass up about a little bit ago after laying in bed, playing with Tic Tac, and forced myself out of bed, made some coffee, took a shower, got on the phone to order something, drank more coffee, and now I'm here... Exciting huh? Yeah. I went to bed around 1o PM last night...I just didn't feel right....more specifically, I was tired, just super tired and I wanted to lay down and sleep.

Alright, so let's start:

(I love my dog...he knows his daddy is sad right now and he hopped onto my lap. I LOVE my dog.)

I'm driving home last night, still reeling from my thoughts from the day before (you know it because it's all in the post I made).

So, I'm on the phone and we got into...gosh, I can't even really call it a debate, or even a discussion...it was a very light, simplistic defining conversation of my post. He made it evident that after reading my post, it wasn't about work really or co-workers, although they played a major role in exacerbating it; it was the resounding situation, message, voice, deliverance, whatever you would like to call it, that left the mark on me, to the point that it's almost a scar.

We reconstructed and then deconstructed the entire situation and we agreed it boiled down to this:

I was told the truth. But it was not the complete truth. But it was still the truth. At this point, can it still BE the truth? Our response was the same; "No." It cannot be considered the truth because had the WHOLE truth been told, then two instances/situations would happen:

Number 1 - the half-truth statement would not be the same, it would not hold the identical structure when said completely, in it's entirety; it simply would not mean the same.

Number 2 - the half-truth would have a specific outcome, a positive, complacent outcome. People only speak half-truths because by doing so, there would be a positive, complacent outcome - by telling the entire truth, the outcome would turn to a negative one.

Speak half the truth and all is good.

Speak the full truth and all is not good.

I actually stopped and thought about this conversation, and then back played in regards to my co-worker.

And I was absolutely right. My reasoning, logic, was correct.

I then contemplated WHY my department head would boldy lie to me, to tell me a half-truth...what was she so scared of? What fear did she have? Losing her job? Being disciplined? What was it? I shook my head and sighed...here I am, showing my department head the highest level of kindness, of respect, showing her that even though I'm not her friend per se, I AM a good manager, that I could be counted on to help, to do what I could do so she could succeed and be the best department head I had.

What was she so afraid that I would think? What was she so afraid that I'd find out?

Then the light bulb went off in my head. As you know, I wrote earlier that I had internal problem at work and it kept popping up all the time.

I would like to repeat, "What was she so afraid that I would think? What was she so afraid that I'd find out? Why was she so afraid. Period."

Then I knew.

I knew, that with identifying the half-truth, it would open up a pandora's box. The puzzling things happening at the office would all make sense. It would come together. Why certain things were coming up missing, why certain information was incorrectly being passed on...she told the half-truth to so many people and in turn, they perpetuated the half-truths...they trusted her and assumed she was telling the full truth. They were an accessory and didn't mean to be.

I find it frustrating just writing about it now.

Luckily, and this is me NOT having anxiety, but finding my center as a manager of so many people...I have the solution.

I'll talk to Bree. I will ask her, one last time, if she was my internal leak.

She'll give me 1 of 2 answers; the right one or the wrong one.

If it's the right answer, I'll smile, thank her, and doing what I can to help her.

If it's the wrong answer...then I'll be disappointed...not in her...but in myself. Disappointed in myself because I wasn't able to save her.

While my bud and I were talking, he asked a question to me that caught me off guard. I had touched upon it earlier, but didn't really think about it:

"MJ, now that we have this shit cleared up, what did your instinct tell you? I'm only asking because, well, you know dude, I think you already knew the answer" he said.

He was right.

I had completely forgotten about my "instinct." My gut instinct. My instinct had told me a long time ago that something was wrong and to delve deeper into the problem. He simply reinforced the fact that sometimes, I don't need to go into fact finding (in this case, with HR and Legal involved, I didn't really have much of a choice). He reinforced the fact that I just need to go into my instincts. Because, quoting him, "As long as I've known you dude...you're the ONE person I know who has instincts that even I would follow..."

This meant a lot to me. I should have just followed my instincts. I knew I was right.

And from this point on, that's exactly what I'll do. And I'm positive my instincts will help me find a solution to Problem #2.

So there you have it. My epilogue from my previous post. Believe it or not, it feels good to be able to write about it here. It's relieved my tension and anxiety, and I'm happy about this.

One down, two more to go.

Excuse me, have to go run errands now.

MJ

Problem #1 (Listening to John Mayer's "Slow Dancing in a Burning Room...")

2008-10-30T21:55:00.001-07:00

I knocked off work early...I just wasn't feeling so hot, so I said to hell with it, and left. Of course I decided to make a pit-stop at BevMo...I seriously have to rethink how much money I give them.

(Don't worry, I'll get to problem #1 - and the problems are not in any specific order - from my earlier post - in a few minutes, just wanted to work up to it - here's a hint - it's work related)

My girlfriend and I make weekly pilgrimage's to this mecca of drunken stupidity, definitely an alcoholic's paradise. I picked up a few bottles of Pinot Noir. I use to NEVER drink Noir till I met Nic and she totally turned me onto this shit, which is amazing! Of course, there are a few bottles that I had that were not that great, but for the most part, I would say about 90%, have been pretty decent to pretty damn good.

Well, I get home, take off the work clothes, pull on a comfortable red sweater, put away a few clothes that were laying around(hey, a bachelor is allowed these things, ok?), and I pour a very healthy glass of Noir. Suprisingly, I am "wonderfully" buzzed fairly quick. What I mean by buzzed is that I'm not drunk nor am I anywhere near it; it means that I feel lighthearted, wanting to smile. But certainly not drunk. I heard this happens when you don't really eat for a few days (if I recall, I had a SINGLE chicken-wing yesterday and that was about it haha).

I grabbed the glass and headed out to the patio, cigarette in tow. Good God, it's a bit chilly tonight. Heh. I happen to like the cold, even though my punk-ass grew up in hot-ass Texas. Weird, huh?

Sorry, I had to take a quick break to fill up the glass :)

Anyway, now that I'm a little more relaxed, focused, I can continue on from my earlier post about my "anxiety."

I thought about it a tiny bit more and I think my anxiety is stress induced. Or not. At this point, it doesn't really matter. Oh, wait haha, I wanted to show you this: (I NEVER fucking read my Horoscope...I stopped years ago because...well, it's always fucking wrong. But I read mine today just for the hell of it and it freaked me out).

Quickie

Being happy should be your top priority -- use the day to recharge your batteries.

Overview

Your weird dreams aren't just random (though sometimes they are, of course). Right now, they're trying to tell you something that's pretty important and the message is most likely pretty straightforward.

Wierd, HUH???!! lol I could only laugh after I read it. I thought to myself, "Where the fuck were you this week when I needed you? "

Anyway, I'm going to preface Problem #1 out 3 with a question:

Why do people think telling HALF-truths count as THE truth?

It's unbelieveable to me that someone could look me in the eye, with me KNOWING the FULL truth, and essentially tell me a HALF truth, or a partial truth. Do you know what I'm talking about when I say "half-truth?"

Well, let me explain my definition so we're on the same page; wait. You know what? No. I won't give you an example. I'll just tell you what happened at work. Then I think you'll clearly understand.

I'm patriarchal. What does that mean? That means that if you're under my wing, I'll defend and protect you. Whether you're family, a friend, co-worker...doesn't matter. If you need me to defend you, I will. Even if you've done me wrong.

I had an employee come to me recently. She was in a LOT of trouble. She wasn't who she was. Yeah, you read that right. Her name, as everyone called her, was fake. And the REAL person came knocking on my door.

It's a bit more complicated, but this wasn't my major problem. She quickly resigned. It was straight out of a movie...fake identities, reports to local authorities, a mess. A real fucking mess. When she chose to resign, she called me in tears. This is when my patriarchial tendency kicked in. As my employee, I wanted to protect her, but I knew, after speaking to me, that she knowingly and intentionally did what she did; it would only make me an accessory.

So I did the only thing I could.

I bought her time.

I told her EXACTLY want to do so immigration would not make a spectacle of her. I told her that I would do what I could so INS (Immigration) would leave her the fuck alone. I hope to God she listened to me. She was a great employee.

The heart breaking thing for me? Read along...Her english wasn't that good...but I think you might understand:

Me: "Oye, como esta?"

Emp: "MarXXX, I'm so sorry, I lied and now it catch me."

Me: "Ok, JuXXXX, don't worry, I'll help."

Emp: "Ok, thank you, I no mean this happen. I'm so sorry."

Me: "JuXXXX, don't worry, I promise, I'll help you. Por favor...hablame...(deep pause)...como se llama?"

Emp: "Es AngXXXX."

Me" "Hola AngXXXX...Como esta Ustd?...It's a pleasure to meet you."

I said this to this employee that I'd known for months now by another name. Believe it or not, this wasn't the problem. I moved forward and bought her time; she was a single parent raising 6 babies on her own. I gave INS the run around.

Here's where my problem lays...Problem #1.

After this all ocurred, it was kept hush-hush. Primarily due to legality reasons, this is simply something you do NOT discuss with ANYONE other than my boss and our legal department. There are way too many variables involved that could fuck me over in a second.

Well, guess what?

2 hours later after this happened, it hit the floor. And I was completely puzzled how. Let me give you a preface. For the last several months, I had INTERNAL information, from meetings with my managers, being leaked to the frontline staff and from there, to my clients. This is EXTRAORDINARILY dangerous as, well, I'm sure you'd agree, INTERNAL information is FUCKING INTERNAL. It was not ever meant to get out in any form. And somehow, in a matter of hours, my frontline staff was aware of it and my clients were up in arms.

Well, FUCK.

God dang it. What the hell just happened??????!!!

This was my last straw. I had a gut instinct earlier that I had a leak somewhere within the ranks. I just couldn't figure it out. I had other priorities that were more important. But this one, this information being leaked, did me the fuck-in.

STOP.

My "Gut" Instinct: I consider my GUT instinct a curse or a blessing. Everyone has a "gut" instinct, you know what I'm talking about. I'm referring to MY gut instinct. Or simply instinct. My curse or blessing? I'm 100% right. Always. I cannot think of ONE time, when I use my gut instincts, that I have been wrong.

Not one time.

Ever.

START.

I remember shutting the door to my office, closing the door, sitting down, shutting my eyes, and taking a deep breath. I carefully started the process of "breaking-down" the situation, from point A to point B. And it clicked. It simply clicked. All the puzzle pieces came together and it was so clear, I realized that my instinct was right, AGAIN.

You see, there was only two people that were aware of the situation. Person A and Person B. I was person B.

That left Person A (Pay attention now lol I'm giving away a secret here...a part of my analytical thinking).

I spoke to Person A. I bought Person A into my office, we sat down, and the grilling process began. But before I even contemplated doing this, I stopped to review my history with Person A. I cultivated who this person was, their actions, their response, what they did, when they did it...I UNDERSTOOD Person A. I knew Person A better than Person A did.

Person A picked up on this.

And Person A saved me a lot of grief and told me the truth.

Thank God.

Heh.

Apparently, Person A informed me that they made a mistake and "may" have said something to someone else.

Enter Person C.

Gotcha.

There's my leak.

For the LONGEST time, I had this shit-ass period where really, all my internal shit kept leaking out, almost to hemmorgging and there wasn't fucking thing I could do to fix it.

But my instincts kept up with me. They said, "Keep a close eye. Pay attention. They'll fuck up. Everyone does. They always do. But don't ever let on."

Why?

Because, you can only hide things for so long before they come out. You can only tell "partial-truths" before the real, complete truth comes out. And with one of my employee's, the real-truth was about to come-out bursting. I could feel it in my bones. That's how sure I was.

Stopped fucking around years ago. Hey, I admit it; I wasn't the best person that I could have been. But I woke up one day, realized that my actions, past and present, didn't do anyone any good. Especially me. So I stopped. I grew up. I refused to do...the things I had done. And I haven't looked back since. If anything, I'm proud to have been able to keep that promise to myself.

STOP: Sorry again, I had to smoke a cig and fill my glass of wine up. It's taking me 2 hours to write this damn post haha Tic Tac just jumped off my lap, ran into the bedroom, and is knocked out on my bed. What a spoiled little dog. Haha!

I bring Person C into my office. We sit down and chit chat for a bit.

I think this is where my anxiety started kicking in, where I stopped being able to understand.

Why?

Imagine knowing the truth and having someone boldy lie to you or tell you a half-truth...it's not easy to swallow.

And this is exactly what happened.

I sit Person C down, let's call her "Bree." This is how the conversation went: (obviously I've changed the names; if you see a set of "paranthesis" next to the conversation, it's indicating I already know the truth...you'll see what I'm talking about as I write it).

(Oops. I Stopped for about an hour. You're not going to believe this...but I just got off the phone with someone I haven't spoken to in almost....well...MANY years...holy shit...lol...ok, this post is taking almost 4 hours to do...LMFAO...Shit...hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! I've taken a wine break, a bathroom break, a phone break...LOL!)

Ok, where was I? Oh yeah, Person C. Fudge, I've had too much to drink I think. Right now, I'm at a full bottle of wine and a half of another. Eek! lol (Nic, I miss you so much right now...if you were only reading this...).

*ahem* Ok, so...um...I bring Person C into my office and I sit her down. I start with, "Bree, how's everything going in your department?" She spends the next 15 minutes spilling her guts about her department problems...I spent those 15 minutes saying, "Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh." Ok, I was THINKING it... :-/

Finally, I ask her, "There was an issue regarding some highly confidential information recently. There weren't many people that were aware of it. So here's my question Bree...Were you aware of it and if you were, did you pass it on to anybody?"

B: "No, I don't know what you're talking about." (Strike ONE)

Me: "Well, it was brought to my attention by a few employee's, after I spoke to them, about HOW they got the information. They ALL said that they had heard it from you. Am I, or they, wrong about this?"

B: "They must be wrong because all I know about this employee was about her kids. I dunno anything other than that. No one ever said anything about that to me." (Strike TWO)

Me: "I see. Well, let me ask you ONE more time, and if you DO know something and tell me now, I guarantee it will be a simple slap on the wrist. The reason why I'm bringing this up is because of the highly sensitive nature; I have to get Legal involved and if it turns into something beyond that, I have absolutely NO control. So now would be a good time...."

B: "No MJ, I really don't know anything. I only knew something about her children and that was it." (Strike THREE)

Well now, let's get to the root of Problem #3. This employee of mine is a department head...and she's tenured...which makes it a challenge to discontinue with her services...as per the "strikes" above, I already KNEW the answers, yet she chose to lie to me.

Why?

Why is this?

I'm so fucking puzzled. I GAVE her the opportunity to TELL me the God DANG truth (sorry, can't say "damn" and "God" in the same sentence. I already have enough of my own strikes against me).

I STRONGLY believe that the aforementioned is one of my anxiety inducing problems; that is, being lied to when I already know the truth...my "instinct" was right. And this was what I was worried about...

I listened to her contently...focusing on every word. And this is where the "partial-truth" came into play. Yes, she told me the truth...but she stopped half-way, and I was well aware of it. I could see it in her face, hear it in her voice, and understood from her words. Fact of the matter is, in the words she spoke, I inferred quite a bit...enough to figure out the truth to another level. Instead of jumping the gun, I continued to listen.

I let her finish...

And I sighed...

Here I am...someone that I respect and admire sitting 4 feet in front of me, basically lying to me. And each lie broke my spirit a little more, because I just KNEW the damn truth.

I wanted to yell, to scream, to throw into her face, "WHY ARE YOU LYING TO ME??!! I KNOW ALREADY. I'M TRYING SO HARD, SO DESPERATELY TO SAVE YOUR JOB SO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY DO NOT HAVE TO GO HUNGRY, GO ON WELFARE, OR LIVE PAYCHECK TO PAYCHECK!!! PLEASE, PLEASE....JUST PLEASE....I'M BEGGING...JUST TELL ME THE TRUTH SO I CAN HELP YOU MAKE THIS RIGHT....please.................."

I do have heart. And she never told me the truth.

End result...she's currently under investigation by my HR department.

This was my problem all along, my Problem #1...all Bree had to do was tell me the truth so I could fucking HELP her get out of this jam. I certainly, not EVER, want to see any of my employees with a negative result due to a wrong answer that, if they answered honestly, could have saved them.

I can no longer save her.

She's on her own.

And it absolutely KILLS me to think that with a single question of mine, had she decided to go with the RIGHT and HONEST answer, could have put her in a different position.

I have, in the past, dealt with similarsituations, which is the reason why I think I had so much anxiety over this...I had employees FOLLOW me from site to site because they respected and admired me...I took this as a compliment and did what I could for them.

The sad part is....and it's even hard for me to write about it...but...I have sent an employee to jail. All she had to do was make the RIGHT choice...

She did not.

I'm going on 5 hours to finish this post...I've had it up on my computer now for quite awhile, doing errands and procrastinating to get this done...

So, this is part one of my anxiety...dealing with this less than scrupulous employee...

I work with people that I respect and admire greatly...to have one of them lie to me broke my heart, after all the hard work that we had all put in to be the best.

Is the "partial-truth" a lie? Absolutely. In my book it is. Doesn't matter what the justification is. It's simply wrong. All Bree had to do was tell me the GOD DAMN TRUTH...and this is where my frustration lays...

So I hope you can understand, someone you work with everyday, someone that you rely on....lying to you; right in front of your face.

It's disheartening.

It's discouraging.

It makes you re-evaluate yourself.

The best part? That's exactly what I did.

And by doing so, it help me find resolution to Problem #2.

Problem #2 is...

(Better left for another post).

Ciao

It's rainy outside...

2008-10-30T14:31:00.000-07:00

...and I am exhausted. Not physically, but mentally, I'm worn down.

I think I'm going to pack up and go home.

Drop by BevMo and grab a few bottles Noir.

Get home, put on a sweater, put in a flick, play some games.

I know I should probably update from my early post, but I'm just mentally tired to do that. I think later this evening, I should be ok. I dunno.

So home and wine for me I guess.

Hmm.

MJ

I started on Myspace

2008-10-30T10:44:00.000-07:00

I started this blog post on my myspace....I've been finding myself more inclined to stop writing blog posts there and start writing them here instead. Back in the day, I would get thousands of hits a day, but since at that point that I've stopped blogging, my numbers have drastically dropped.

This is a good thing. My blog is going back to being MY blog. I even checked the counter since yesterday and I've only gotten 4 hits. Again, this is perfect. Many of the people who use to come visit regularly do not anymore. Maybe 2 that I know in real-life know about this blog. No one else knows about this one....not my family, not my girlfriend, not even most of my friends. Ok, I'm lying, maybe 3 people (what's up Carlos!).

I love this blog and for those of you that maybe trolling around and have never seen this blog before, do me a favor; ask all the questions you want, just don't try to get underneath my skin.

I'll write more in continuance in a few minutes after I finish my initial post from this morning....

(continuance from MySpace)

It’s 7:30 AM in the morning.....

....and I didn't have a great night of sleep. I was fairly restless. The last thing I remember is Tic Tac burrowing underneath the covers, putting his head against my arm, and staying still. Skittles jumped up a second after, curled up against the bump that was Tic Tac, and knocked out too.

I turned on the TV and watched....I think it was Son's of Anarchy or something. I'm not even sure. I remember flipping through the channels and finding absolutely nothing to entertain me so I did something that I don't normally do and here lately, I've found myself doing it a lot.

What I did was.....(continued on my other blog)

(continuing.....) What I did was, I turned the TV on, lowered the sound, and lulled myself to sleep. I'm actually starting to sleep with the television on. I admit, my girlfriend probably got me hooked on this....it's not the BEST habit...but I've had some awkwardness the last couple of weeks.

It's very difficult to explain.

(I'm going to keep writing in first person as I simply want to say SOMETHING, but not to anyone in particular)

For the last couple of weeks, maybe 2 or 3 weeks, something's been amiss in my life. This is the part that won't make sense and I'm not being condescending at all...my thoughts are scattered and trying to organize them makes me fearful only due to what the end result maybe. I find this ironic because my Type A personality shows logic can only be the right answer. But we all know this is not always the case.

Anyway, for the last couple of weeks, I've felt something is wrong or amiss, but have not been able to put my finger on it. I've thought and thought and thought, but whatever the "wrong" is, has essentially eluded me...to the point that I nearly had an anxiety attack. Was it work? Was it personal? I don't know.

I still don't know.

Here, let me put it this way; It was my instincts. My instincts have heightened lately, again I don't know why, and my instincts have been telling me something is VERY wrong. No, not as if my instincts were predicting the future.....it's more of like an overwhelming sensation, deep rooted in me, that some"THING" is not "right."

Ugh, I'm so sorry for my lack of synonyms. It's frustrating trying to explain something that even I cannot put a finger on. My explanation above is in the most general sense.

Here's an example; just the other day, I got into work late at about 9:30AM. By 2:30 PM, I was finished. I had spent the day TRYING SO HARD to focus, but I could not. I couldn't read, couldn't write, couldn't type on the computer. I couldn't do ANYTHING. I told my staff that I wasn't feeling good, so I grabbed Tic Tac and went home. As we got in there car and driving home, I reached for a cigarette, found the pack, and tried to take one out. Wow. They were gone. I had opened this pack when I got to work and 5 hours later, they were all gone. I had gone through 20 in 5 hours. I thought about how much coffee I was drinking; 6 cups in an hour. When I got home, I sat on my couch and reflected for a minute or two. I had no financials that were due, no presentations, no meetings. I just sat there. I took a deep breath and I just sat there.

Something just wasn't right.

And it was SO frustrating not being able to pinpoint it.

As I was sitting, I caughy my reflection on the television.

It was strange peering into my own eyes, at my own face.

I thought to myself (and I remember this CLEARLY and these were the EXACT words I thought to myself), "MJ, what's going on? Why are you not getting right? What's weighing you down? Think, you asshole. Figure it out. Think and fucking figure it out."

I answered quietly, "Ok...I need silence. I need a moment. Just a moment."

I need to stop right here for one second. I HAVE to explain this to you. This is how I think. This is why when I focus on something, I get determined and get what I want. And in this case, I wanted an answer.

And I thought of it this morning. It came to me like a beaming light.

I was in San Ramon this morning at our corporate offices. I had to take a proctored behavioral test for Human Resources. The line of questions.....was amazing.

I was at my best.

There was not a single analytical thing that I could not figure out.

I was in my moment.

Numbers thrown at me and I tore them apart and deciphered them.

"Kids stuff" I thought to myself.

Shapes and puzzles thrown at me....again, I'm in my moment and I'm zipping through the answers.

At the end, I ask if I can see my grade right then and there.

Her response?

"Wow MJ. Holy $hit. Congratulations...You just scored higher than any other director in the North."

I said, "Thank you. I better get back to the office."

I smiled all the way out to the car.

I had come to the realization that I was frustrated because there were several problems in my life and instead of getting a hold of them, figuring out the concerns, and addressing them, I was allowing them to overwhelm me.

On the drive to the office I thought, "Ok MJ, let's get down to business."

I gave myself the drive over to the office to isolate what was wrong. I separated, analytically, what was wrong on the surface between what my instincts were telling me.

And it worked flawlessly.

In that 35 minute drive, Tic Tac in my lap, I was able to identify several, several things that were weighing me down.

Great, now I've been able to isolate the numerous problems.

Next phase; filter out and prioritize.

I took the small problems that I was making into large ones and discarded them. Which left me with some moderately sized problems. I took those and figured out how to tackle them, quickly, before the end of the week.

I finally got down to the meat. The killer problems. I came to the abrupt realization that these problems were the ones that were weighing the heaviest in my heart, mind, and body. They were the ones that were not allowing me to eat (I haven't eaten in 3 days) and having one too many beers.

I let out a deep sigh. And very analytically, began to work the problems in my head. Look to the past, the present, and the future.

I took these problems and very gently let my instincts have a feel.

I believe right about now, you're probably curious as to what those problems might be.

I narrowed down the problems to exactly 3.

No more, no less.

And those problems are:

(Better left for another post)

MJ

It's been a hard day today.....

2008-10-28T14:08:00.000-07:00

....and I can't explain why. I wake up every morning, have 2 cups of coffee, and take a breather for about 10 minutes.

I walked into the office today and EVERY day that I go to work, I always, and I do mean ALWAYS, bring my A-Game.

Not today.

I'm unfocused.

I'm not clear.

And I cannot for the life of me explain why. I've tried to get a lot done, but the more I try, the more I cannot muster the energy.

My hands are clammy too, which is super unusual. I'm sick. That's it. Has to be.

Ugh, I need a beer.

Ciao.

Wicked

So, it's the start of the week.....

2008-10-27T12:52:00.001-07:00

So, it's the start of the week. I have about 5 minutes to shoot something out as I'm on my lunch break. I no longer stop and ENJOY any meals unless I'm with my girlfriend. Outside of that, I just inhale it and run; way too much to do.

And yes, above, you see little Tic Tac's head poking out of the car while I run in to grab my meal (this was yesterday and I had ran out of beer so I drove to the gas station to pick up a few).

I also found a great costume for him for Halloween; it's an absolute trip and I'll post pictures as soon as I take them this week - maybe Wednesday or Friday.

All is going well on my end; my girlfriend was playing the cutest little puzzle game a couple of days ago and we both got hooked on it. What was even MORE cute was watching her get into.....it was insanely adorable.

Also, I've been reading up on Lineage a little bit and I nearly, NEARLY, restarted my account. I see that Ep6 is out and I wanted to take a look at it. But hey, that's $15 a month I could spend on something BETTER....not sure what that is yet, but I'll let ya'll know once I figure it out haha!

As usual, I'm still playing Warrock, but the shear volume of hackers doesn't make the game very fun and I'm starting to get annoyed by it; insomuch as simply just dropping the game. I also got a hold of Tiffany, aka Ancid, which I'm sure ya'll remember and shes's letting me play on her private server - Lineage II. One small, or major problem; I downloaded the game and I tried to install it, but it would not install. It's not a small game so not having it install kind of bummed me out. I think I'll download again overnight (the sucker is BIG) and try again.

Ok, that's it for now, more later.

Ciao!

Wickedliquids

I'm watching Casino Royale.....

2008-10-20T22:17:00.000-07:00

........yes, THAT Casino Royale - the 007 flick. I remember when I bought this movie....I remember what I was thinking....it went something like this...."This Bond guy is pretty cool - I mean, THIS particular Bond. He's different. He has flaws."

I think every guy wants to be James Bond to a degree and I think every guy IS James Bond to a degree. You see, what's different from this Bond than other Bond's is that.........

(Only I could relate James Bond to each of us - I only ask that you humor me and play along; if my reasoning is bogus, then I can simply tell you to "Fuck Off." Feel me? Good."

This Bond is human. He does not miraculously dodge every bullet sent his way, has a heart, but it's made of stone and is cautious beyond belief, even bleeds a little.....hmmm...how interesting...James Bond with a flaw. Imagine something happening in your life that changes who you are. Most of us don't recognize this. Very few of us do.

But imagine this thing, in Bond's scenario, a specific person, who helps define/mold his persona.

He becomes cold. Calculated. Frigid. But beyond these things, he's cool. Calm. Indifferent.

He's smart. He's cool. He know's more than what he let's on.

He's me.

He's you.

Does this make any kind of sense to you whatsoever?

Didn't think so. If this doesn't make any coherent sense to you, then stop reading now.

(ohhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm at the scene where he runs to his Aston Martin, trying to give himself a shot of adrenaline. Don't care about this scene OTHER THAN FOR THE ASTON MARTIN.

WICKED WANT'S AN ASTON MARTIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!).

If it does make sense, then GOOD.

Ok, I need to smoke a cig and finish this glass of wine, so more tomorrow.

Ciao!

Wicked

hello.

2008-10-17T20:33:00.000-07:00

How are ya'll doing? I'm ok. Kind of.

Doing my best. That's the most accurate way of putting it. It's about 8:30 on a Friday night....I picked up a six pack of Hef (which I actually like and I consider it a meal due to it's heftiness), and I'm buzzed.

I wanted to drop a line and let ya'll know that I'll be blogging on another site; yes, I'm aware that enough people know about this blog; I even went as far as to go back and delete the links on this blog from other sites. A positive, or a negative if you're an attention whore, is that my hits have dropped drastically. This is a good thing. But as a precaution, I'm going to hold my blogging to another site.

The site is kind of different.....hard to explain.....but that blog that I'm writing is intense. Again, hard to explain.

Anyway, I promise to return to this one soon.

Or never again.

Ciao.

Wickedliquids, aka MJ

Headache time!

2008-09-04T14:53:00.000-07:00

I have a headache. It's not mild, nor is it strong.

It's annoying. It's irritating. It's made me a little upset.

Boo.

So I've been playing games - mostly Warrock and Condemned 2: Bloodshot. Warrock is fun as usual, but way to many hackers to make it as enjoyable as it use to be. I've also been thinking about going back to Lineage, mostly because that game is not as addictive as it use to be and I have no problem walking away from it. And of course, I even considered going back to WoW, but that's just stupid. I don't find it addictive, but I'd rather not play something that takes so long to get anywhere; there's just no end-game to that mmorpg.

I've also been going out and doing fun stuff, drinking (duh), and etc etc. Ok, maybe I DO need to pick up games or something.......

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I'm about to drop $4 Grand and do up the BMW. I found this fucking awesome Bavarian Autosport shop that works strictly on BMW's and their mechanics are all BMW certified. So far, I'm considering having the following done:

1. New tires - I'll either pick the Generals, Kumho, Pirrelli's, or Eagle FSA's. Cost - $500 to $1,800 (I LOVE YOU TIRERACK.COM haha - had I bought them anywhere else, the cost would have been $1,500 to $2,800)

2. Exterior sensor replaced - Will cost me around $200. From BMW, would have cost me $700

3. Idle Control Valve replaced - will cost around $250. From BMW, would have cost me $1,200

4. Breaks and Rotors - owie, this one is going to be expensive. I want ceramic break pads and cross slotted rotors; I want the R1's with the ceramic pads, so cost on all four will be about $1,000. From BMW, cost would have been around $2,500.

5. Painted calipers - the kit is only around $30. The labor will make this cost me around $200.

6. Simple alignment - $125.

7. Simple oil change - $150.

So overall costs is going to be.....moderately painfull (hey, this could be drinking money, damn it). But I love my car :P

After I get that stuff installed, I'm going to have the car fully removed of all dents and dings. Most likely looking at around $1500 to smoothen the body out. Then after that, a new, fresh coat of mid-night black.

Lastly, illegal, blacked out, limo-tint. Around $150.

Aight, more as I get it done.

Oh, by the way, had I had my own garage, I'd roll up my sleeves and do at least 75% of myself.

But I don't have a garage.

Sucks.

Ciao!

Wicked "Your mom wants a ride" Liquids

You have new Picture Mail!

2008-08-25T14:39:00.000-07:00

You have new Picture Mail!

2008-08-19T15:36:00.001-07:00

You have new Picture Mail!

2008-08-19T15:34:00.001-07:00

You have new Picture Mail!

2008-08-14T15:37:00.001-07:00

Sup.

2008-08-13T18:18:00.001-07:00

Sup fools?

Ugh....I'm too tired to do a fucking post. Would it kill ya'll if I did it later?

Please?? PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE??!! I have tons of pics - with HOT GIRLS! So do me a favor and gimme a day or two and I'll squeeze one out :P

Ciao!

Wicked "You're mom is one of the hot girls" Liquids

You have new Picture Mail!

2008-08-13T15:34:00.000-07:00

2008-08-13T15:24:00.001-07:00

Code

You have new Picture Mail!

2008-08-13T15:23:00.001-07:00

Life is gluttonous....

2008-08-03T11:28:00.000-07:00

Hey guys, I'm alive! I've been so slow in posting and I've been meaning too!

So, with pictures included, here's what I've been doing.

I went to Napa for the first time yesterday and had a blast - I had SOOO much fun, I'm going back again - how can anyone NOT have fun in Napa?

Believe it or not, 3 seconds after this photo was taken, the food was ACTUALLY inhaled.

The shadow keeps following me......why??!!
My dream set up of top end wines!

Yes I am alive

2008-07-23T18:30:00.001-07:00

and I plan on posting for ya'll soon - probably this weekend!!! Promise!

I think.

If I don't get too drunk.

Or do something too stupid.

muwahahahahahaha!

Ciao!

Wicked "I'll make sure to remember your moms" Liquids

Giddy with excitement!

2008-07-14T09:18:00.000-07:00

Sup.

First of all, ya'll know I picked up this phone a couple of weeks ago:

It's freaking pimp. WAY better than that ghetto-ass ICrap. I love the Instinct - it's by far one of the coolest phones I've ever owned and the functionality is top of the line bad-ass.

I'm also excited about something else I bought....it's on it's way, as I'm having it delivered. I've been eyeing televisions now for the last 3 or 4 months - closer to 4 - and my new Samsung Touch of Color model LN46A650 is on it's WAYYYYY!! This fucker is absolutely TOP OF THE LINE and I normally wouldn't have spent so much on a television, but once I saw it in the store, I knew I had to have it. It's the best of the best and should be here sometime early this week; one minor problem I may have is that there's a strong chance I'll need to travel, so it's going to suck if it arrives and I'm out of state.
So, who want's to come over and watch this bad-ass??!!

Ciao!

Wicked "Your mom's on TV" Liquids

It's Saturday and I'm working..........rawwwwrrrrr....

2008-07-12T14:42:00.000-07:00

Believe it or not, I don't have much of a rant today. Unusual, right? In all honesty, I'm tired and want to go home and sleep. But I can't!!!!!

Well, technically, I could, but I need to run out and get some shit done.

Honestly, I have more work to do and I'm procrastinating....not trying to...but meh - you know how it is.

I'll try to hit up another post in a little bit!

Ciao!

Wicked "Your momma licked me like a lollipop!" Liquids

Had to make this post.....

2008-07-07T14:01:00.000-07:00

I really don't like Miley Cyrus. Seriously. I don't see what the big deal is about. And saying that she's embarrassed by her photo shoot by Annie Leibowitz? What a crack whore Miley Cyrus is. Annie is a living genius.

Hey Miley; get your teeth fixed and STFU.

Ciao!

Wicked "Your mom's better looking than a horse" Liquids

Emo Saturday......

2008-07-05T15:36:00.000-07:00

Hello boys 'n girls, it's Saturday! Yay!!! Time for "story time" by yours truly.....

I woke up this morning, very groggy and tired - at a painful 7:30 in the morning. I can be up late all night, but I'm STILL going to get up at 7:30 OR EARLIER.....grrrrrrr.....

I run my usual errands and by 10:30 this morning, I'm done. So, I grab Tic Tac and we make off to the dog park so I can wear his ass down. We get there and spend a solid hour and a half - him running around, peeing everywhere, and sniffing ass like there's no tomorrow. I run him home and he's knocked out 2 minutes after we get into the apartment - when you're that little, I guess you'd be tuckered out too.

I put him in his kennel and I take off to the mall - yes, I said, THE mall. I hate the fucking mall. But I need clothes and I have no other choice. I park up and step out and.......my innate need to mentally pick on people in my heads turns on and goes into full gear.

Here we go...........

I'm walking from my car to the mall when an emo dude walks up in front of me. I stared for a second and thought to myself "What the fuck is up with this guy?" Ya know, personally, I don't care how people dress or act - to each his own....but this guy.....fuck...I wanted to beat his ass silly.

Case in point: Emo dude had on a pair of skinny jeans and a shirt that was 3 sizes to small for him; because he's got a slightly rotund figure, the skinny jeans don't work (and neither did the fucking shirt)...so they're falling off his ass. Let's recap:

1. Skinny jeans
2. XS shirt
3. Rotund

and

The only difference was he's not a hot girl.....and the coup de tat?

He had on flip flops.

Teal shirt, black skinny jeans, flip flops...and he was fat.

WHAT THE FUCK???!!!!

I realized this could only mean that this was an omen to my trip.

I'm walking along, trying to find my store, minding my own business. I'm absolutely oblivious to who's around me, which is unusual for me as I try to make a mental note of everyone I see - kind of hard to explain - I try to figure people out in 3 seconds or less, which I'm pretty good at, but this time around, I just mentally shut off.

As I'm walking, I notice 4 women in front of me, maybe 15 feet ahead. Now, I wouldn't have normally paid any attention till 2 of them dropped something and all 4 had to bend down to assist. So what's the big deal?

Yeah, you get the fucking point.

Grrrrrr.......

Now, the walkway at the mall is fairly wide. But oh noooooooooo boys 'n girls; yours truly and about half a dozen other people had to TURN AROUND and go back where we came from, around the adjacent walkway, then back AROUND to get to where we were going.

Come on.......FUCK.....irritation....feel me?

Sigh....I need video games.....I'll post again later....

Ciao!

Wicked "Your mom is hotter than the mall girls" Liquids

Happy 4th of July!

2008-07-04T12:53:00.000-07:00

Happy 4th of July.....even though my ass is working...grrrrrr....

Ciao!

Wicked "Your mom's on my grill" Liquids!

So I have this fucking headache.....

2008-07-02T18:32:00.001-07:00

....and not quite sure how it appeared. I think there's a strong possibility it's work related. Or not. Not quite sure. I think it's a culmination of restlessness and work related stress. I think I need to get out more. Or do some really good gaming.....or BUY A FUCKING TV SET THAT DOESN'T GIVE ME MIGRAINES AFTER STARING AT IT FOR 2 SECONDS. I'm more inclined to believe it's the first two....but dummy me will go with the TV. But you already knew that!

haha!

Ok, imma go play some shit.

Ciao!

Wicked "Your mom is giving me head...aches!" Liquids

Made you look!

2008-07-02T15:58:00.000-07:00

Hahaha! Wassup suckahs??!! Made ya'll look!

Welcome to my REAL blog. Hunker down, get some food, grab something to drink, and get ready to add on 50 fucking pounds.....go ahead...try and read all 1,600 posts....haha!!

I'll update accordingly - and I update randomly. I LOVE to update when I notice something, then ponder the ramifications of the stupidity that just occurred, then whether or not I got a chuckle out of it. If it makes me laugh, it'll be on here.

Ciao!

No, not MJ.

Wicked "Your mom's ready, ain't she?" Liquids

boom........

2008-07-01T08:22:00.001-07:00

Just a real quick post before I start the work day!

As I mentioned earlier, I've been playing games in my spare time. By the time I get home, I have about 2 hours to myself, which isn't very much - suxors! So I've been playing Warrock.

The game is a lot of fun, but frustrating. It's free to play, but if you want the better weapons and shit, you need to upgrade to a premium account. I've done ok, but in the last month or so, I've really sucked....which really isn't the case....everybody else has higher end weapons and I've got the newb shit. Oh well!

You guys should check it out - it's a lot of fun....but if you worry about being the best or your KDR (Kill/Death Ratio) isn't good, then this game isn't for you.

Have fun!

Ciao!

Wicked "You're mom's hacking!" Liquids

Can't sleep.......

2008-06-30T22:00:00.000-07:00

Oh jeesh, what am I to do?

I can't sleep - I'm actually OVERLY tired..........

Manual labor most of the day....phone phone phone...type type type....then at about 3:30, I came down like a bag of rocks.....or Pamela Anderson on Tommy Lee muwahahahaha

So, bored as I am, and not willing to play any games (How fucking dare I???!) I've decided to rummage through the travel section of Yahoo. I think I need a break. A decent vacation. Just don't know where to go. And that's the fun part!!!

I'll just pick somewhere, book it in August, and haul-ass. Sounds good, eh?

Maybe I can to go a coke-snorting country; no, not Columbia....I'm thinking.... MIAMI! Wait, that's not a country. Oh jeesh, who gives a fuck, right?

LOL j/k!

Oh, by the way, I bought a new phone:

This fucker is awesome! I've been playing with it nonstop! And I have so many other toys....but I'll talk about that later.

Hmmmm, maybe I WILL go play a game :P

Ciao!

Wicked "Your mom's in my bed" Liquids

Damn, another change.....

2008-06-30T17:15:00.000-07:00

First of all, take the fucking poll!

Secondly, I got rid of some links that were dead or no longer updated. I should add more links, but I don't see anything fresh or worthy, so I'll leave it as is. If ya got a link, send it and I'll add.

Ciao!

Wicked "Kim Kardashian is NOT hot" Liquids

See that shit to the right?

2008-06-30T17:10:00.001-07:00

Told ya I'd be messing around! Who wants more?

It's June 30th......yeah, like that.....

2008-06-30T15:53:00.000-07:00

Hi guys!

First of all, I'm pleasantly surprised that people come to my blog. It's been so long since I use to go on that sometimes 10 post a day rampage of various gaming...and honestly, I really enjoyed it. Then BAM, fucking real life caught up and work and bills hit me. Well, as I'm sure you're aware, when work comes at ya full force, one has a tendency to stop the gaming....or at least slow it down. In my case, I slowed it down....a lot.

As for the blogging aspect.....yuppers, that kind of zonked out as well. Well, not really. Actually, I hit up myspace a whole lot now.....not really for the networking, but to blog. Guess what? I slowed that down too. Why? Well, quite frankly, I don't have time to write. Simple as that. But guess what? I'm going to change that up.

Yeah, yeah, ya'll have heard this before. But what I've decided to do is blog on my blogspot blog more frequently and slash the ghetto myspace blog - it's not even that all user friendly. And it's a lot easier to post pics here as opposed to going through the arduous task of photobucketing the living shit out of everything.

And yes, I have been playing games, albeit not that much.

And I also miss my cynical rants and often hilarious (in my opinion - if you disagree, go die) aspect of the craziness of the gaming world and real life.

So, to sum it all up, what does this mean?

I'm actually going to RETURN TO BLOGGING ON THIS SITE.

Just a warning - can't do a billion posts a day, but the funny stuff and any other nonsense, I'll gladly tap out here; and it'll be great because I don't have to be so fucking politically correct. Oh, and this should be interesting to some of my myspace readers who want to tag along and read this blog - they might get an eyefull if they go back and start reading from the beginning.

And by the way - my all time favorite post from this blog? It was few years back, but it had to do with tips on bling dating, in which I had gone through quite possibly the worst series of blind dates EVER! Anyone remember that? No? As I said earlier - go die.

Love ya'll!!

With all this said, I look forward to this weekend as I put my chat box up and I make a few entries. I might do one or two before this weekend, but this weekend will allot me the time to spend on this blog and get it up and running!

Aight, till then!

Ciao!

Wicked "Your momma lookin' ghetto good!" Liquids

Yeah, so what?

2008-06-01T09:37:00.000-07:00

I"m alive - and I've tried so many times to post, but ran out of time. Ya see, at work, there are certain sites that are not blocked, so essentially, I have free reign. Problem is, the second I start on something, BAM, I get pulled away and can't finish any type of post whatsoever.

So, my plan is to stabilize my job, then I can start posting like back in the day. So hang in there boys and girls - I'm trying to make that comeback...!!!

Ciao!

Wicked "I miss your mom" Liquids

Um...OOPS??!!

2008-04-09T22:13:00.000-07:00

YEAH YEAH YEAH, I'M ALIVE AND I'VE BEEN A JERK. WORK WORK WORK! SO THERE! THE NASTY FOUR LETTER WORD! AND I'VE ALSO BEEN PLAYING LINEAGE. BUT ALAS, I ALLOWED MY ACCOUNT TO RUN IT'S COURSE AND I'M TAKING A HIATUS FROM PLAYING THAT GAME.

AND I'VE BEEN MIA ON MYSPACE AS WELL....HEHEHEHE!

WELL, I'M NOT GOING TO HOLD BACK - SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO....

GOT DROPS?

CLICK ON THE IMAGE AND IT'LL GET BIGGER SO YA'LL CAN SEE THAT SHIT :p

AIGHT THEN, I'M OUT - BE BACK SOON!

CIAO! WICKED "YOUR MOM'S BEEN WAITING FOR ME" LIQUIDS!

FOR LINEAGE FANS, YOU GUYS NEED TO WATCH THIS....

2007-12-11T12:00:00.000-08:00

Hi Guys, I was on YouTube the other day looking at vids and I thought I'd punch in Lineage to see what came up. Lots of people fighting and killing mops, drops, etc, etc, but there was ONE video that totally captivated me.

This guy is clearly playing on his own server - why? Cuz I'd like to know how to summon 12 Death Knights, Barnaka, and a Grim Reaper to be under your command....and you're a DE!

I'm telling you, this shit looked like fun.....trust me....WATCH!

This is a bit tough....

2007-12-10T15:45:00.000-08:00

Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen of the gaming world....I HAVE RETURNED!

My Lineage account has been reactivated.....and I have no idea what to do. I already hit up a few bosses - Ant Queen owned me - hey, what can I say, I was rusty. But I returned, took the 5% loss, and solo'd her. As I stated, I hit up some bosses, but no screenshots - drops sucked so it don't matter.

I am going to need a little help - like quests.

I'm also playing Warrock - with a newly purchased weapon - the FAMAS. It's a BADASSS wep, that's for damn sure lol!

Ok, more later :)

Ciao! Wicked da Liquids

The Return......

2007-12-05T10:34:00.000-08:00

Ok, after reading the boards, looking at a few blogs, I have decided to triumphantly RETURN!!!

Drumroll!!!!!

The Return of The King!

Pwned!

Read on.......

But I won't be returning now - I'm in the midst of a move, so Firebug, get ready to join me into your little pledge.

My timeframe is most likely that I'll be returning in less than two weeks. Once I reactivate, I'll be going straight to the boards to ask a ton of questions.

Then I'll enter in game. Spend about 30 minutes in FV to reacquaint myself with the hotkeys, then go at it. Straight up Boss Hunting again - which I enjoy!

If memory serves me right, I came back last year about this time, played through the X-Mas event, then left again. So, I'll probably do the same haha!

Get ready folks, a member of the old guard is returning.......

Ciao!

Wicked "You're mom is getting hot 'n heavy fer me" Liquids

Do ya'll remember......

2007-12-04T11:31:00.000-08:00

I wanted to do a little Lineage check like I use to do back in the day - WAY back in the day - although I wasn't one of the original beta testers, I've been around long enough, I guess you can consider me one of the old guard.

So, take a look at the pics....good memories, no? By the way, I've had this blog for quite awhile - want even better memories? You should go through my archives.....some good stuff in there :)

The girl on the left does NOT look happy. I think her boyfriend made her do it.

More later!

I have decided to assemble the most comprehensive.....

2007-12-04T10:58:00.000-08:00

list of gaming links for Lineage I users - why? Because I find that I have a tiny bit of time and I hate going to 100 blogs to find one that updates. Therefore, if YOU have a blog that's been updated since September OR have any recommendations, let me know - give me the link in the chat box or leave a link in the comment box below and I'll gladly begin to add ya'll.

Have link suggestions?

2007-12-04T10:52:00.000-08:00

Hey guys - help me out - if you have any links you want me to add, hit me up! Link it in the comment box below OR on the chat box to the right!

2007-12-03T15:26:00.000-08:00

Ok, I have time for a SUPER quicky post - I've been looking at some blogs - a lot actually, and I'm going to update my links....I've noticed that there ARE quite a few blogs out there, but most do not update. Some actually do!

So enjoy!

Wickedy Whacks!

Lunch-post!

2007-12-03T13:01:00.000-08:00

What's up 'mah brutha's and soulja sistah's?!!!

Yeah...um, enough with that......hehehe....

Here's the rundown - personal and video game professional :P

First up, I was in the Bay Area for most of last week - scored me a nice apartment and I'm SUPER excited. Oh yeah, did I mention I was moving? I'm moving to a place that looks a little bit like this.........

Nice, no?

Ok, here's the video game post....first of all, I don't think anyone that plays Lineage comes here anymore, but that's ok, because I haven't Lineage'd anything at all recently. But what I have done is go to the Lineage boards to see what's up.

Got some questions for ya:

1 - what the hell is a Fiery Embryo
2 - are there enough people on the server for war, or is it pretty much "blah"
3 - do people siege anymore?

I read the boards and I have to admit, there are a few things in game that really interest me and I'm thinking after a year long hiatus, I may return to the Land of 2D - Return of the King.

If I do log back into my account, I'm giving myself a month to figure shit out. Probably even less than that. I really don't mind playing again, but the droll of never ending exp gain is not that appealing to me - I'm kicking some major ass playing Warrock and doing pretty well there (did I MENTION you don't gotta pay?). It really is a fast paced game of boom boom boom. I dunno, we'll have to see. I have a hella hard week coming up - packing, calling, scheduling, etc.

Anyway, I'll post a little more frequently till the end of the week, then I'll be AFK for about a week :P

Hit ya'll up later!

Ciao!

Wicked "Tell yer mom I'm heading up her way" Liquids

The Reutrn of the King....almost....

2007-11-27T11:31:00.000-08:00

Hi there.

So, I've been dealing with a lot of personal issues lately - nothing inherently bad, just consuming a lot of my time. I'll be moving from SoCal soon (shhhhhh, don't tell anyone on my myspace cuz I'm keeping it a secret for now :P) and really, between work, finding a new place, the puppy, and trying to psyche myself up for the new job, I haven't really had much time - I absolutely LOVED this past weekend because I was able to completely chill.

Anyway, I'm in the office this morning, doing some bullshit work and I wanted to log onto Lineage.com to check out the boards and see what my old gamer buddies have been up to. Guess what? No one that I know plays anymore. They've all moved on. There are one or two names that I recall, but that's about it.

And yes, I've continued to play Warrock - here's what it looks like, to refresh your memory :)
I've actually made it to level 14 on this game - about to hit 15 - and this game is NOT about leveling at all - it's complete joy for me to go into a game and not worry about leveling. You can die a 100 times and you won't lose exp, you'll GAIN it, albeit just a little bit.

WARNING - if you guys want to play this game, there are hackers on there like you would not believe, so show a little patience and move to a different room. K? Good.

Oh and yes, this game is completely FREE. There's a premium membership you can purchase, but free is just fine :)

I have to go now, but be prepared.....the Lineage bug is starting to set it.....let's see if I pick it up again, or if I just stay away!

Ciao!

Wickedliquids

Ok, as promised...........so stop calling me a dick

2007-11-06T13:00:00.000-08:00

haha!

Ok, as promised, I've decided to do a nifty little post for ya'll, so bear with me.

First of all, lemme start off with something fairly PIMP...a clip of a fight of course!

Watch this shit!!!

A Girl and a Dude Fighting.....TRUST ME! (CLICK ME!)

Ok, as my previous post stated, I've been traveling a lot. One of the new places that I've been able to hang out in, is San Francisco and lemme tall ya'll something.....that place IS THE SHIT! Omg I would love to live there.....the weather is awesome, the people TOTALLY my style...the place is amazing......the only drawback? Not enough girls...the guy to girl ratio in the Bay area is 10 to 1...seriously.

The ROCK

Had an amazing $200 dinner here - and drank so much, I got rocked haha

This is what a mall ceiling looks like up there! NICE!

LV - need I say more?

And the other reason why I've been busy....my two kids....meet Tic Tac the puppy and Skittles the devil cat!

Yes, this is EXACTLY how he sleeps!

They don't fight that much - they play A LOT though :)

See? They sleep like this too - they can't be separated when they sleep - Skittles is the big sister and she watches out for her little, insane brother.

I do have more....as in the pics of the girls, but that's too egocentric so I'll save that for another post.

Be good ya'll - more to come!

Ciao! Wicked "I'm done with your mom" Liquids

I feel like such a dick....

2007-11-06T11:31:00.001-08:00

Hi Guys.....

Wow, I feel like an absolute PRICK! I'm at work, hella fucking busy, and I stopped really quick to look at the internet (Ok, I'm lying, I was looking at porn) and I look in my bookmark section and I see something called the "Chronicles of Wicked." I was like, "Oh, what is that? WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE! THAT'S MY BLOG!"

Alas, I actually forgot about my once great blog. I looked at some of my past posts and damn, this shit was rocking at one point. So why stop?

Well, I've written several times in the past why I had to slow down. And honestly, it'll probably be that way for awhile. And to make it more difficult, I'm traveling a great deal. Although, I can say that from now on, when I'm at my hotel, I can do some write ups.

So what have I been up to? Well, let's see, outside the whole "girl" thing (yes, some gamers CAN get a hot girl once in awhile), it's been work and my puppy, and a lot of other shit.

I have a lot of pics and stuff I want to show you guys - I'll tell ya what - mostly cuz I can't access shit at work, I'll take my lunch break downloading a lot of pics....and then I'll do another blog post this afternoon.

How about that? It'll have insane links, real life pics, and blah blah blah.....maybe a few quips of my biting sarcasm...and more about video games! Yes, I DO play them still....just not Lineage.

Ok guys - I'll brb!

Ciao! Wicked 'da Liquid

Ya know....I was bored...

2007-09-11T13:15:00.000-07:00

I'm at work and I'm on my lunch break, but I have no desire to work, eat, talk on the phone, or do pretty much anything at all.

So what do I do?

I go on YouTube because I'm having some weird Lineage withdraws and what do I see? I find a clusterfuck of videos on YouTube. Several are from Amph, while others are from players across the world.

So check it!

Anyone know where the hell this is from?

I wasn't aware that they mad hell so easy!

I'M LAUGHING MY ASS OFF - LINEAGE IN JAPAN...I THINK IT'S OFF A CELL PHONE...THIS SHIT IS HILARIOUS! REMINDS ME OF THE OLD FINAL FANTASY GAMES!

There are a lot more...just thought you might want to take a look so you can see for yourself. :)

Ciao! Wicked

Almost onto Lineage, myspace, and some other crap...

2007-09-11T11:32:00.000-07:00

Wazzup?

As if you cared. As if I cared.

Ha!

Ok, quick update.

I'm downloading Lineage right now...but for other reasons. I hope to be playing sometime this week, maybe even today if I can do something with something. Don't ask...I'm checking on it now.

As for my Myspace, I deleted that shit and I rebuilt it. Hey Rachel, mail me your myspace address again...I'll add you....I think I lost everything when I deleted it, but it's ok, not a big deal to me.

I have pictures...lots and lots, but none on this computer or my work laptop. They're actually on my other laptop and my home computer. When I get home, I have almost no time to mess around on the computer, so I'll have to give updates in increments.

My flooble chat box. Don't give a shit about that either. I find it rather annoying anyway, so I'll keep posting stuff up here.

Ok, I gotta get back to work...holla at you guys later :)

Wicks

Verification of stupidity please...

2007-08-13T08:10:00.000-07:00

Yes, let stupidity rain.

I sincerely believe, other than for Rachel and a few other personal friends, my blog has fallen wayward. Granted, I clearly do not update, no longer snap on witty posts, funny pictures, etc, so I take full, bloody blame for this.

I just do NOT have the time to game. I don't. And it bugs me. But what can I say....there's far more to life than sitting in front of a 17 inch screen.

Yes yes, I am aware that my tortuous quips of arrogance and biting cynicism have been sorely missed...I haven't lost my touch, I assure you. Regardless, I won't make any empty promises of coming back full on...what I can say I will do is that when time allows, I will post at least lengthy situations of various comic relief. Well, at least I think it's funny haha.

So anyway, for those of you that have forgotten about me, I apologize.

For those of you that are sticking around....THANKS!!!! I'll do my best to make it worth your while :)

Ciao! Wicked "Your mom is in my Top 8" Liquids

Harry Potter, Video Games....and...huh?

2007-07-19T15:53:00.000-07:00

Yah, I know, right? I'm not even going to begin to apologize for not posting...but I'll try now.......

Here's the Cliff's notes, condensed version - work has been hell and video game time has been super limited.

I was going to download Lineage and log on for a month because my friend Muyo informed me of the event going on and all the cool stuff that's dropping - I thought it would be hella fun to give it a shot again. Well, my girlfriend was on my comp looking at myspace and proceeded to spill water all over my keyboard, so now my comp, at the touch of a few buttons, simply shuts off. Not to worry, I bought a new keyboard and it's in the trunk of the BMW now. I'll plug that in later tonight.

HARRY POTTER SPOILER!!!

As if you fools care, our fun loving Wizards...actually wizardess (I know that's not a word, but it IS a word in Wicked's World!)...

By the way, if you want to see the REST of these pictures, go here....Hermione chugs and does porn!

Anyway, all has been good for the most part - but really, it's work that's been busting my balls. My creative side is still with me, but moves in slow motion sometimes, so just deal with it.

For those of you on my stupid myspace, I go to that thing everyday, but I left my GF handle it - kinda of, not really, but some parts of it.

Lineage!!!!

Lineage lineage lineage - I've been to a few blogs, but no good screenshots of anything. That's what I'm hoping if I restart my account - to get a few drops, say hello to some old friends, check out the fighting, if there's any left, and post all that shit on here.

So anyway, hopefully I haven't forgotten my password and if time allows it, I'll try to get on tonight!

And all of you with a blog - FUCKING UPDATE!

(excluding yours truly, of course - hehehe suckah's!)

Ciao! Wicked "Yo' momma's bringin' me BACK!" Liquids

Wham Bam and....POOF - where I be all 'dis time??!!

2007-06-06T14:25:00.000-07:00

HOT GIRLS HOT GIRLS HOT GIRLS!!!

HAVE YOU REACHED A PORN SITE? THIS IS WICKEDLIQUIDS....OF COURSE NOT! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Sup playas!

How's the land of Oz, Lineage, WoW, and all them games going?

That good huh? Anyone level 23543643543 yet? Really? Way to go!!!

You lazy-ass slob.

Anyways, yes, yours truly still exists. I'll tell ya what I been up to, but before I go there, I just wanted to let ya'll know that I've wandered through the halls of Justice and Blogging and I found that, well, most of my peeps blogs are dead. Just D-E-A-D. Even worse than mine, if that's at all possible. So where have I been and what have I been doing? *ahem* I'll get to that...

Oops, one moment please - need to do something - stare at the picture below for a moment.

Ok back.

What was the interruption? Work of course. You know, that awful four-letter word that soaks itself into most peoples veins on a daily basis while other fortunate people like Paris Hilton.....

....wallow in their agony because they have to spend 23 days in jail. Which incidentally, LA was a madhouse when that shit went down and she turned herself in.

So anyway, due to an excessive amount of drama at work, I just haven't been able to play many games - I might get in a few minutes, maybe 30 minutes, of Warrock in....

The games actually gotten better - the connection is faster, graphics are improved, more maps, more weapons...the game is fun. Granted I'm still at level 5, I'm having fun just playing a very well made, fast paced game that DOESN'T COST ME A SINGLE PENNY!

So, thus far, I've reviewed my gaming life and professional life (oh by the way, on the career level, they moved me from division after division - I'm on my 4th or 5th one, I'm not sure).

Let's keep rolling, shall we? Oops, one more second...

Wow, look at the size of.....that fan! That thing looks expensive, but must work very very well.....

Very nice fan indeed :P

Oh shit....

2007-04-24T10:10:00.000-07:00

haha!

People come here to check this out and I keep forgetting to update it. I get so tired from work, I barely have enough time for myspace or this blogger. I do most of my posts on myspace now because I just don't game like I use too - I'd rather not sit on my ass for hours on end, but go drink and hang out instead; I'm trying to decipher which is more productive, gaming or drinking?

I'm think if I could find a way to combine them, I would be in heaven. Or at a weak-ass, ghetto LAN party haha!

Anyway, if you want my myspace address, email me and I'll send it to you; if not, dun worry, I'll post it up here later.

Ciao!

Wicked "I can't get your mom outta my head" Liquids

I don't think I can keep it.....

2007-03-17T15:37:00.000-07:00

I love my truck, but I don't think I can keep it.

It gets a whopping 13 miles per gallon city and a whopping 14 miles per gallon highway.

I'm from Texas and I've always been a truck guy - but at the rate that I use gas, the cost of gas going up, I average around $65 per fill up - and to make it sweeter (sarcasm), several times, I have to fill up two days in a row - THAT'S how much I drive. AND to top that, I average a fill up every 3 days. That translates into about $400 to $500 in gas alone every month. That's another fucking car payment.

I've contemplating changing cars for a few weeks now, but last weekend, I filled my truck up on a Saturday, then had to fill up AGAIN on Sunday.

Stupid.

Just stupid.

I dropped $90 in two days on gas.

I LOVE MY TRUCK......but I knew I had to give it away and pick up something else.

WHAT is that "else?"

Well, I knew I needed something that wasn't going to devour gas like my precious truck, it had to look sexy, and fun to drive.

No offense to Honda or Toyota owners, but that shit won't cut it for me.

So, I did some searching, took a deep breath, and got rid of my truck.

In return, I picked up this............

Sweeet? Bet your ass.

Drives well? Of course.

Sexy? Hella sexy.

The cars great and it only cost me $39 to fill up. So I'm happy, got a good deal, and a sexy ass beast to go with it.

Aight guys, I'll hit ya'll up later (I need to learn how to use the navigation system and the XM Satellite that came with it - haha!)

Ciao! Wicked "BMW" Liquids

I read through some old Lineage blogs and I keep picturing this....

2007-03-08T20:48:00.000-08:00

....and I repeat to myself (in my head), "Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat?"

hehehehe

Anyway, I was reading some blogs on that stinker of a game and well, what the hell.....looks so much fun! And with all the new stuff coming out, looks to be even better!

But knowing my luck, I'd re-activate my account, play 15 minutes, then become insanely bored again :( Sigh......

And freaking Warrock keeps locking up on me and booting me!!

BLAH!

My eyes are doing ok - surgery went well and I should be up to full vision in a couple of weeks. Job's being a bitch right now, so I'll let you all know how that goes.

Ok, I'm out - have fun kids!!

Ciao! Wicked "It's Sexytime!" Liquids

As Borat would say, "Whaaaaaat?"

2007-02-21T13:20:00.001-08:00

Contrary to popular belief, no, my little blog here isn't shutting down. I've done a lot of blogposts on Myspace and inadvertently, kindasorta forgot about this one. Not to worry!!

With my new job, gaming has been fairly difficult. WOW is no longer an option to play, Lineage expired, and Warrock is so fucking laggy now, I have nothing to play and no time to play.

I did consider getting an Xbox 360 cuz I heard the WII was ghetto and the PS3 is still way too buggy.

Anyway, enough about me - what are you all up to? Hopefully good! I think I'm going to shy away from my Myspace blogs and start writing here again. Also, I'm updating my links and stuff, so I hope you all dig it :)

Ciao! Mr. Wickedliquids

Well ain't that some shit...

2007-02-17T14:55:00.000-08:00

My stupid chat box died - oh well - I will update a little bit at a time :) So check check! :)

Not been so well this past week.....

2007-02-09T10:05:00.000-08:00

Hey guys, what's up?

Yeah, I'll freely admit I've been neglecting this blog...AND my myspace - I log on to check messages, but that's about it.

I've had a bad week and next week won't be better till I get a serious issue resolved. Yes, I went to Vegas AGAIN this week and every time I go, I get more and more worn down - this was my 3rd trip in 40 days and I'm done with it.......

Anyway, they upgraded Warrock and it's no longer in Beta - it's live. The cool thing is, is that you can play it for free still. The extra perks, you'll need to get premium pass. It's still buggy and lags worse than before, but it's much more interactive and beautiful nonetheless.

Ok guys, I'm out. I'll hit ya'll up upater :)

Ciao! Wickedliquids

Some screen's I got from the website - fairly accurate..

2007-01-26T16:31:00.000-08:00

Yes, the sniper mode is totally kick ass and no, you don't need to be level 2343254325 to be able to be a sniper!

Yes, you can actually fly around in airplanes and attack helicopters and tanks and all kinds of other vehicles!

This game is free - try it out!

She was 'da BOMB diggity!

2007-01-26T16:22:00.000-08:00

Sup.

Ok, I'll give ya'll a recap.

I forgot how to play Lineage.

It's true

No, this is not poetry.

I literally have been playing Warrock so much, I forgot I even had a Lineage account.

And my Lineage account expired.

Again.

I think this is like the 4th time.

Needless to say, I won't be re-upping that shit for at least a few months - don't need to.

So here's what's been going on:

I've drank pretty much every night for the last 2 months and I'm fairly sure my liver is thanking me. I don't wake up with hang overs, but rather, I BARELY wake up to an incredible numbness. Some mornings, I wonder how I'm even able to get back to my apartment which is 30+ minutes away. I don't get sloppy drunk, but it's safe to say a solid buzz comes along pretty quick.

So that's that.

I haven't figured out how to take screen shots of Warrock, but when I do, I guarantee that you'll be the first to see it here.

Oh, and I think my funny bone is busted - can't seem to get it to function right.

But more on that later!

Ciao! Wicked J. Liquids

I'm in an immense amount of pain......

2007-01-10T12:59:00.000-08:00

and do any of you CARE? Of course not. Should you? Absolutely. Why? CUZ I FUCKING SAID SO.

So there you have it.

Yes, I am aware there has been a delay in posting - and it's going to stay that way till I choose otherwise :P

I got back from yet ANOTHER trip from Vegas - I was at the CES show, and I'm hurting something FIERCE at the moment. Maybe it was the alcohol or the walking around - I don't know - a mix of both? Whichever, I'm sooooo faded right now, I can't even think straight. I'm borderline getting ready to fall asleep at my desk. I was considering going out tonight, but I don't think I can make it that far - hell, I nearly fell asleep driving over to Starbucks; incidentally, if you don't know me, not all the caffeine in the world can keep me awake. It may give me a few restless nights, but I've grown this immunity to caffeine. Espresso's? Pffffffftttt NOTHING to ME!

Anyway, I've been playing lots and lots of Warrock - I tried to play Lineage again, but like a bad girlfriend, I just ain't feelin' it. Of course I'll log on to click my stocking thingy, but that's about as far as I go with it.

Ok, I'll write more about the back-to-back Vegas trip, but that'll be later; I'm working on a project that might send me to New Jersey or New York later this week or early next week - I'll keep ya'll up to date on that!

Ciao! Wicked "Your mom makes me want to drink more" Liquids

Ok......ONE more post before the end of the year....

2006-12-30T10:23:00.000-08:00

The New Year is right around the corner and I'm going to be taking off shortly for Vegas, so I wanted to do a quick post for you guys. I didn't go out drinking last night (OMG! RIGHT??!) but I still drank ^^. I stayed in and played VIDEO GAMES.....lol.....sigh....I'm such a loser...anyway, I was playing drunk and having a great time and logged onto Lineage (I was playing WarRock) and as usual, got bored, so I immediately did what I always do - I did some boss checking. I found 4 bosses, all within 20 minutes of each other (Dopple boss was one, but I didn't even bother taking a SS of that crap-hole). And yeah, all bosses solo'd.

Take a look!

Found Ice Queen. Here's her before shot....

And her After shot - best drop was the SB :)

Here's SEER's BEFORE shot...

And SEER's AFTER shot......

And just to prove that my soloing ANT QUEEN the other week wasn't a fluke, I took her on again: Ant Queen BEFORE.....

And Ant Queen AFTER.......

So with that said, yes, even before the event, I was able to solo - but with event, it's that much easier. I have to admit, having -115+ AC is awesome and I can see the advantages.

Anyway, as I said, I'm headed to Vegas for New Years. You all stay safe, don't hurt yourself or anyone, and have a great New Years!

I sincerely hope that 2007 is 100 times BETTER than 2006 for every single one of you!

Take care!

Ciao! Wicked "LOCK YOUR DOORS, I'M COMING!" Liquids

FANTASTIC FOUR - RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER!

2006-12-26T15:24:00.000-08:00

Sup - my bro sent this link to me - thought I'd share it with ya'll!

FANTASTIC 4 - THE RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER!

Mega End of the Year Post - Alcohol, boobies, Games, Boobies, and More Alcohol! Woot woot!

2006-12-22T16:29:00.000-08:00

Sup!!!

Fuck, this is gonna be a big big big POST! I mean SUPER big - it's so big, that it's going to be random. Also, I'm going to post a portion, if not all, of a myspace blog post, so those of you who aren't lucky enough to have access to my MySpace, will get a taste of what a blog post is like over there - actually, my goal is to seamlessly integrate that post to my mega post, so there you have it!

So, what is my post going to cover? Fucking EVERYTHING - it should be enough to hold most of you over for a week or two - or more - so bear with me. This post will have alcohol, boobies, puppies, Lineage, stupid people, more boobies, more pupplies, and more alcohol - I may just cut Lineage out altogether.

Bleh - let's roll with this shit, k? Or I'll be here fucking forever and I'd like to sleep because I'm pretty fucking buzzed at the moment.

Ha. Haha. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA - THAT'S SOME GHETTO SHIT RIGHT THERE! HAVING CYBER SEX ANYONE? HERE'S YOUR GIRL! WOW, LOOKS A LITTLE BIT LIKE YOUR MOM......suckahs!

Shhhhh - be quiet - here's a Lineage secret for drops - just in case you were looking for some!

Was bored and wanted to check on Revenant, so I ran down to Girin 4th floor where those God-awful, annoying lava golems are. Those things hit you from a mile away and I hate them. They suck ass. Till I killed one. And he dropped the following.....

I got a Wis ammy from the very first Golem I killed. I killed four golems and out of the four, two dropped Wis ammy's. Nice huh? There you have it - one of my drop secrets. Now run your faggot asses down there and horde some shit - or send you bots. Incidentally, I'll kill your bots if I see them down there. I'm not trying to be mean, but those bots are fun to fuck with.

Puppies!! Woot! Admit it, they make you wet cuz they're so damn cute. Don't lie. Bitches.

Oh, and I got engaged....here's her pic....and all I have to say is, "Dude! Your MOM is SOOO hot - I'd hit it."

Christmas event is going on - check out my Armor Class! NICEEEEEEEEEEEEEee!!! And the worst part? I'm going to DI and I'm STILL fucking getting rocked. What the hell NC???!!! I see your stupidity will forever reign supreme!

Almost thought about adopting a dog like this - hella cute....

I love you Jaime Pressley. Sigh..............
Was doing my normal shit on Lineage - you know, going afk in the House or in Town - and of course boss checking - found this dude and called Styler - I was smart and cleared all the other mops first - which was fun - here's the before pic....

And here's the after pic - I ran out of clears and was using reds - barely kept up, but I lived!!! And he dropped SO well, it made me cry!!

But to help me stop crying, I found some more puppies!!!

Oops - those two above weren't puppy pics. But who cares right? Damn, that's some hot piece of ass.....that was sexist. I am well aware of this. And I do not care.

Thank you and have a good day!

On to Lineage!

Ok, the next two pics need a quick explanation. With the new LOA Ruleset, I knew there was going to be a few changes. Well, one of the first bosses I hit up was Ant Queen, but never got any decent screenshots. So when I hit her up, an elf and I just 2 on 1'd her and we did ok - of course I took almost all the damage.

Well, I found her again a couple of weeks later. But instead of globalling or calling my pledge, I decided to grab some clears and just TRY and take her on.........

Before.............

And AFTER..............

Yes folks, I actually SOLO'd the BITCH!! I was in awe. WTH!!! I remember Ant Queen completely fucking ROCKING me - but not this time - I used about 80 clears total (incidentally, regular clears are the most USELESS post EVER now - just sell them if you get them). I was expecting to use a few braves, but only used one brave and plenty left over (time) when she ended. I was like, "TIGHT!" I just could not believe I solo'd her - awesome! As you can see, her drops are shit as usual.

Next? Something HELLA cool - most of you asses have already seen this - but I'm linking it anyway. What is it?

July 4, 2007 - THE TRANSFORMERS LIVE ACTION MOVIE - FUCK YAH!!!!

TRANSFORMERS THE MOVIE - LIVE ACTION!

And I found a pic of this - the Silver Surfer from the coming MOVIE!
You know, I actually don't want to do the Myspace thing here - sorry.

Ok kids, I gotta go drink more, do my myspace post and clean my apartment. Oh yeah, and pack cuz I'm going to Texas tomorrow for a few days.

I hope you all have a safe and wonderful Christmas - stay safe, warm, and I wish you all the best and I wish you all happiness.

Ciao! Wickedliquids licked your mom :P

Forgot to mention from below........

2006-12-13T21:46:00.000-08:00

that it's my annual mega-post; don't know what that is? Go to my archives - I have this tendency to do a hella big post with everything and anything before I take off for my break!

Ciao! Wicked

Oops...........muwahahahahah :P

2006-12-12T06:42:00.000-08:00

Sup guys - big post coming - just have had no time - I'm actually doing this right before I take off for work :P

Ciao! Wicked

Sup.

2006-11-24T23:37:00.000-08:00

Sup ya'll - damn, I checked the date since my last post and DAMNNNN it's been awhile - but it feels like it was yesterday that I posted :P

I've been playing and playing and playing and been getting bored and bored and bored; regardless, I kept hacking away and lo and behold - bam - level! Wasn't even trying; just kind of happened. Granted, it took a year to level, but that's with on and off playing and taking a 3 to 6 month break. And I still leveled....wierd....haha -anyone wanna guess what I added to?

I went underwater because.....ding ding, you guessed it, I was bored - I guess these rings came with the LOA ruleset - I said "rings" cuz I got two. They do something, but not sure.

Found AG - drop = crap.

Didn't know Medusa's dropped these things - I know CHA ammy's are far more rare than STR or INT ammy's - can't get my elf or mages charisma high enough to get any type of extra summon - apparently I need a Mambo-something to get that extra charisma point.

I am NOT a boob man....or AM I??!!!

Rich Iffy. Two kats? Rich Iffy.

After I leveled, I took a bunch of stuff and started trying to overdai and overzell them - nothing major, just a few items that I've had laying around. I took seven bKats and made another +9 and 2 +8's - tried overdaing the 8's and they blew, but I was left with the+9, so I'm happy. I also made a +7 COMR, which are actually fairly common on server now, and a pair of +6 cg's; overall, no complaints because the stuff that I had to blow wasn't worth that all much to me and I'd much rather try to make my own stuff than buy it -mostly cuz I ain't got the monies to buy anything anyway :P

I hope everyone has had a good Thanksgiving break so far!! I just got an email saying my account expired - I may re-up for a month again, but not sure - I maybe play for an hour or two, sometimes longer if I have the time.

Well anyway, I'm going to attempt to watch that movie "Hostel" but I don't think I'll last that long, so I bought a back up movie - MI 3 - take it easy everyone!!!

Ciao! Wicked "Your mom stuffed me - or maybe I stuffed HER!" Liquids

StUPiD AsS HaLLOweeN EvEnt! And more!!!!

2006-11-03T23:53:00.000-08:00

What up fools? I'm suppose to do something here.....but I can't remember.....um.....wait a minute.....

A-ha! That's what I was suppose to do - update some shit. Ok, fine, I will - but SHOULD I?

Hey there SoulKing - thanks for the props - aight then I guess I should update......

Ok Mainegra - you got props from me, so lezz update!

Reaper? Halloween event? Whatever! I go check some bosses in TOI and find my own personal Reaper - they made him harder after the LoA update - he's not that bad - mostly reds and a few oj and you got him owned. This particular one dropped nothing - meh!

Ok, so for the pissy-ass event - look, I remember the event 2 years ago - did I get rich? Well, I don't percieve events to "get rich" but rather an opportunity to get stuff that would have taken otherwise, years to get. With the LoA junk now, they have a few cool items that I like a lot - like the rings below. The Paagrio rings add +15 hp, -10 mp, and -1 AC - I was fortunate enough to get two during the event and with both equipped..............

Another cool thing about events is that you get to see a few rare items - and a few people that have them; some of the stuff, there's just no way a bot can get, like the items below:

I think the Ant Wings are a little overpriced, but meh - who am I to talk? Oh yeah...THEY'RE TOO FUCKING HIGH PRICED YOU MORONS!

Went hunting down in the Diad caves to amass the stuff for the Sword of Silence - I'm determined to make one of those - just lack the patience to get the stuff - that shit just DOES not drop - a four-hour hunt dropped 2 fairly rare items to craft the sword; the problem is that IT TOOK FOR FUCKING HOURS -.-

Just a random Event shot :P

One thing I remember about the event 2 years ago was that so many greedy people out there looking for the special mops, no one bothered to check bosses. With that said, when I got home from work, I hauled ass down to MLC to find my boy......and I laid his punk ass OUT, with Styler's help of course!

Hey ElvenAvenger - thanks!! I know, I should update more :(

Ok, so after finding Death Knight, I run out to Ice Queen - she dead too - drops were just as bad....

Event? What event? I don't need no stinking event.....(before I even killed an event mop, I ran down to check on her :P)

Soooooooooooo that's what I been up to. I've got about 24 days left on my account - 24 days to level - can I do it? SHOULD I do it??!! Stay tuned!

And also, Lindsey, if you're out there, hope everything is going well with you!

Rachel - awesome to hear from you again!!

And if I've left anyone out - hit me up and I'll send a shout out.

Thanks for being patient guys - I'll have more soon!

Ciao! Wicked "In-MILF-Mode-24/7" Liquids

Big update coming!

2006-11-03T06:58:00.000-08:00

EEEEEP! No posts in so long - not even my annual Halloween Extravaganza!! What's up with that?

Ok, well just chill, imma post something very soon - woot!

ciao! Wickedliquid

Oh Goodness...........

2006-10-07T19:33:00.000-07:00

Well golly gosh! Yuppers, that little DK running around killing the dumbest things in Lineage has been ME! In Yoda talk, "Busted, I am." lol!

Sup fools!

I'm back for awhile - why? Because I was reading the boards and someone was talking about the upcoming Halloween event. That did it in for me - I was coming back FOR THAT EVENT! For those of you that weren't here two years ago, the upcoming event is to mirror THAT event from 2004 - that event was FUCKING AWESOME! Destroy dropped like crazy then and overall, it was an awesome event - 100's of zells, SUPER rare gear and weps - by far one of the best events EVER! There, I gave you a heads up - so let's talk about ME - ME - ME! It's all about ME!

This is what happens when I come back to the game - EVERYTIME!

Actually, I come back to game and in about 2 hours, I'm immediately scolded..........

Yuppers, Tracy, Imma updating RIGHT NOW!

Was very curious about the LOA ruleset - I played a little bit, but not that much of LOA because I could not handle global - I enjoy reading the mindless banter and lack of grammar on Dep and could not tolerate LOA.

One of the first minor bosses I hit up was Revenant. He's found in the Girin Dungeons, 3rd floor - pretty neat mini-boss, doesn't really hurt, and can drop ok -

Revenant dropped more, but I'm too lazy to post it.

Oh, before I go a little further, here below is a shout out to a good Lineage Buddy - Firebug01!!!

Congrats on DK! Only took you 3 years!!!!!! Way to go - and dial up is the ROXORS!

The boss below is my favorite - she's actually a mini boss and read below for a hint; this chick drops lines and lines - granted, most of it is not really worth your time, she's fun to find on occassion. I was down there looking for an Orcish Bume Smache drop, but ran into her - she's relatively easy and drops a lot of junk BUT...................

A quick warning to knights that hit her up - she casts weapon break and apparently I've been out of touch because I was unaware how much damage weapon break does now - I was hitting and hitting her thinking she should have ended , but I opened my menu and took a look at my weap - her wep break had done 9 damage - OUCH!

Oh, and out of curiosity, I wanted to check for RDS' - LOL!

Got a little bored and had to get my little noob elve's exp back up so I took the kids out and went hunting - nice little drop.....haven't gotten a set of these in a long time.......

Ok, check it - so I heard about the new weps from LOA, like Paagrio's Hatred, Maphr's Retribution, and the Orcish Bume Smache.....so I wanted them all! I had most of the material to make both, but I still needed some main ingredients, like Thors Hammer and metals and stuff - follow along here cuz the next set of screen shots tell a little story.

Ok, so I get on the mage after spending a week trying to get a Thors Hammer drop - good god that thing would NOT drop and it was too expensive for me to buy, so I let my mage try - I went to the Giants area and did some mass killing.......and finally I got.........

I saved myself several millions of adena, so I thought that was awesome. Well, as I'm doing mass kills, my summons had the Hammer on them, but I had no idea. I ended up venzing pretty damn quick and releasing my summons, which gave me Hammer - but I venzed quickly because while doing some mass kills, I found...........

Called pledgemate Styler and although Ancient Giant was tough, it was super hard because the ton of giants we had to get rid of before we could focus on AG - was great 2 on 1'ing - brilliant actually because we had a game plan - we took turns; one would hit AG, while the other would hit and end the roaming giants, then when hp ran low, would run back in TOI and the other would hit AG, while the person that ran in TOI would come back out and hit up the roaming giants - we did this for about 3 minutes and it worked - we cleared all the giants and worked on AG. Drop wasn't great - but the challenge is always fun!

I spent the next two days hunting metals and green dragon scales - I had everything else already. I FINALLY GOT THE DAMN METALS.......and with that said............headed down to DVC 6 for this.............

This thing is my new FAVORITE WEAPON. Holy cow - yes, it's two-handed, but for a knight, it nearly mimic's DE's hit rate AND damage - in addition to casting something similar to Earthquake, and doing twice damage. I tested this out in FV and was killing mops like there was no tomorrow with 3 to 4 hits - bam bam bam. I did some damage testing with Styler and there were some random damage hits of 100 HP! As my girlfriend Paris Hiltion would say, "That's hot." And yes, I know Paris is a ho. Dun tell me about it.

Finally, thanks to Willowmyst for hooking me up with the last little bit of metals - metals are not hard to get, but like irons, a little annoying! Thanks Willow!!
Ciao! Wicked "Your mom is my Retribution!" Liquids (that made NO sense - whatever, deal with it)

BEST SHIRT EVER!!!

2006-09-29T19:25:00.000-07:00

Ciao! Wicked "Wants that shirt" Liquids