I am the durnkorzx!

haha I just tried to read my title, but even I could not read it.

I've had a REALLY fucking shitty past few days which is why I haven't been as vociferous as before. Um, here's the breakdown. I left work early yesterayd? was it yesterday? I left at 12, got home at 1, started drinking, and I chilled the rest of the night.

I thoguht I was gettin better, but I can see now that I am not. I think I am trying ot hard and it's having an opposite effect. Regardless, I was suppose to hang with some peopel last night, but htat got fucking blown to hell. I got so upset and looking back, I should not have. But at the same time, it was a fucking ghetto ass lame excuse and although I should not have gotten angry, I will not apologizie. I have come to realize that I am a good, resonable person and when I fuck up, I will be jupming up and down to say im sorry. If i didn't fuck up, then fuck you, I'm nto saying FUCKIGN SHIT.

I got up this morning atnd at 9 am, started drinking. I'm beginning to see the signs now. I think I'm in trouble, but not sure yet. I stopped enough to go get a haircut - oh this is cool

My hairstylist speaks Farsi!!!!

Whty does this matter?

After my haircut, I hadEVER intention to go get ink. I didn't want something huge, just something that was very personal to me. I wn't get into detail;l because I just said wat I did - it's for ME...so don't bother fucking askine me what it was going to be.

I talked to my friend stephanie and she's getting some ink done next week in Texas. Then I talked to my bestest friend in the workd, Kassie, and she freaking GOT HELLA FUCKING MAD at me for even thinking about getting ink. I didnt argue with her, I just talked to her and.........sigh............she convinced me not to get it done. I'm still thnking about going back and getting it done.

It's my life. It's what I need.

If you could only step into my mind, you'd know how complex and frustrating I can be.

On the surface, I present one way....but get to know me....well...this sounds so arrogant....but I love talking to people smarter than me....only because one day, I plan on outsmarting them.

This isthe NUBMER ONE REASON why I know about so much bullshit. Ahem....ok, not bullshit, but information that is probably 100% completely irrelevant to you....but it means everythging to me.

Talk to me sometime....then I think you'll understand.

Ok, I am going to get some more wine, watch a movie, whatevers.

Maybe I'll get the ink tomorrow.

MJJJJJJJ! :) I m the durnkorsz!