It's Morning....

I'm doing much better today. I'm steadily finding my center again. My thoughts are more calm, I'm relaxed...I'm accepting life as it is. All over again. I find it ironic that the title of my myspace blog is, "If I could do it all over again."

I'm surprised that I've been able to follow facets of the Buddhist faith. Maybe I was Buddhist all along and didn't know it. I'm going on day 5 with absolutely no appetite. You could shove the juiciest steak in front of me and I won't, can't, eat it. Thus far, I've been living off of hot chocolate, coffee, water, and various forms of alcohol. I repeat, I am not an alcoholic. I guess you can say that I'm cleansing myself.

I ran into a hurdle earlier this week and I can't remember if I wrote about it or not. My lease is up a month sooner than I thought so I'll need to move again. I've learned the area, in the mildest sense, but I don't know where to go.

I love my apartment complex, but there's a lot of memories there....it's a karma thing. I think it would be in my best interest to move and start all over again.

I don't have anything spectacular planned this weekend. I do know that I'll start my normal process of being WELL prepared before I move. I know I'm 2 1/2 moths ahead, but when I know that I'm moving, I pull out the trashbags and go to work. I did that when I moved up here from Huntington Beach...I got rid of so much stuff, it was outrageous. This time around, I'm pretty sure it's going to be clothes. I had to try on 3 shirts this morning before I found one that fit right. I guess this fasting thing must be working...the shirts were WAY too big, looked like I had flaps on my side. So I'll spend this morning minimizing my apartment.

I think, with the market the way it is, I can find something bigger for less, which is what I'm going to focus on. Maybe even a house. I looked on Craigslist yesterday and saw a few houses in the area that were $200 less than what I'm paying for an apartment. I would get my own driveway, my own garage, just my own space without having everyone around me. Maybe I could fix my damn bike and have it ready for the spring. Tic Tac would have a yard and I might get him a little sister to play with. I dunno.

Ok, that's all for now...need to get ready for the day.

MJ