Still not ready to tell you about Problem #2. But I will tell you THIS...

...I'm starting to delve into the world of religions and faith again. More specifically, I'm finding Buddhism, Yin & Yang, and Karma more and more interesting.

I'm reading more and trying to understand better, much better, only because Buddhism, Yin & Yang, and Karma are not religions or religious relics, although some people do define Buddhism as a religion.

I'm choosing to read up and follow them for because they are a way of life. You will NEVER see someone dressed in an expensive, three-piece suit, perfectly white teeth, immaculate hair, on a Sunday morning show explaining why I'll go to hell if I don't give them 10% of my paycheck. I don't like speaking about religion; it opens things to argument. I don't mind arguing...I'll win. The point is that it is...

"...a way of life."

I've become interested in Buddhism, or more specifically Zen Buddhism, because it relays the message that, "...life is permeated with suffering caused by desire, that suffering ceases when desire ceases, and that enlightenment obtained through right conduct, wisdom, and mediatation releases one from desire, suffering, and rebirth."

Exactly.

My recent anxiety is just that to an extent. I have a desire. It weighs heavy on my heart. Get rid of the desire and my suffering stops. Very simple concept. Much more difficult to achieve.

I've always been a HUGE believer in Yin & Yang...to have one thing occur, it does not matter what that is, there will be a different outcome. Some good, some bad. But find someway to meet in the middle, then you have a perfect balance, which is what we all what to achieve. I'll write more about this one.

And lastly, there's Karma.

This one is just flat out scary. It works to such an effect...but none of us really think about it. I had a friend down south in the OC that was just having the hardest time of his life. He felt it was Karma....something that he had done wrong that was haunting him. He couldn't figure out what he had done, even after spending months looking and looking. And during that time, his life got worse and worse. He stopped trying to figure it out. He went to church, released his bad karma, and started fresh. After he went to church, and because I knew him pretty well, I helped him identify several things that may have been coming back to him.

He was lying often to his girlfriend, as a matter of fact, dumbfuck cheated on her twice (she left him which I applauded her - yeah, I know he's my friend, but somethings in life are simply wrong. Period. I still supported him as a friend though). He wrecked his car...he drank too much.

I remember, he looked me in the eye, understood what I was saying, and went back to church that following afternoon.

We met up for dinner that night and he realized that I was right. It was not a SINGLE act that condemned him. It was root of multiple acts that had finally found him.

As people say, karma is a bitch.

He's ok now, at least I think haha.

But that's not the complete definition of Karma...at least not for me.

Ok, I gotta go back to work - more later!

MJ