Wristcutters....a love story...

WTF....Shit, I got a lot to write about.

First of all, thanks for not giving me shit over last night. It really was a blur. I should not have done what I did. It was....well, driving while drunk is never, EVER an option. So if I offended you, I'm sorry. I just needed that exhilaration, that rush. It's a one time thing, I assure you.

I knocked out so hard at around 4 AM...but I got up at 6 AM. I think, I KNOW, I'm the only person that I know of that can get up after 2 hours of sleep, being hella fucking drunk the night before, and be completely fine and ready to go for the day. Yup, I can do this. It's a talent.

I will admit, I'm a slightly bit worried....I'll explain in a second. But lemme tell you why I was up so early. I saw an ad at Walmart a couple of days ago; they had a sale on a specific laptop for only $300 bucks. I had bought an IBook about...um...2 or 3 weeks ago as a Christmas present, but I returned that earlier this week. I took the $2,500 and said I'd just put it aside...well, $2k of it, the remaining $500, I was going to play with. I was wanting the laptop, but when I got there, there was already a line and I missed out.

Guess what?

I was ok with it. I had WANTED the laptop, but didn't desire it. I guess my mantra of "If I do not desire, I will not suffer" fit in just nicely. I shrugged it off, bought some normal stuff like toothpaste, etc, and left.

I got home and started to hella clean...as a matter of fact, I'm taking a break from it now. Here's my problem...instead of stirring up that hot cup of coffee that I normally drink, I....sigh....*deep inhale*....I grabbed a bottle of Noir sitting on my counter, poured myself a glass, and started to drink.

I've never drank at 8:30 in the morning before.

Fuck.

So I'm taking a break and at Walmart I picked up 3 scary movies....no one's ever heard of them before, I'm sure, but I just needed something in front of me to take my mind off of things.

I put in....Mulberry St...it's a horror flick...lol you know I'm deftly afraid of scary movies....but I'll try damn it....and I'll always try - I'm a fighter. I caught a glimpse of a preview of a movie that came out a couple of years ago. I actually listened to it...then as I was hearing the voice-over, I turned my head to watch the preview.

"Wristcutters: A Love Story"

I was in complete awe. Here's the breakdown:

"Trapped in an alternate world populated by suicide victims, a band of souls tries to find an escape route in Goran Dukic's quirky fantasy. Although he took his own life, Zia (Patrick Fugit) isn't ready for such a grim hereafter, particularly when he learns that his ex-girlfriend also killed herself. On a quest to find her, he befriends a jaded hitchhiker and a Russian rocker, and together, they set out in search of a more appealing afterlife."

Trust me, the preview was far better. Imagine living in a world where everyone is dead, no one can smile, and everyone is there because they killed themselves. I completely find this concept fascinating and I HAVE to have this movie. I found it on Amazon, but I'm going to call Blockbuster in a few to see if they have it, then I can run down the street and pick it up.

I'm still sad from this week.

It's been tough.

But I'm getting better.

I really am.

"If I do not desire, I will not suffer."