I feel a little ill.....

I got home last night and started drinking immediately. Then I took a shower and went out and drank some more...yes, I'm very aware it was a Monday. Hey, I even ate a little bit. I think that's what made me sick.

But this isn't why I'm ill. I spoke to a friend of mine on the way home, a very good friend actually that I've known for years and she completely BLASTED me. I mean, she was yelling and screaming at me...why?

She said I was an alcoholic and she was pissed off at me.

I argued with her most of the way home.

She made some valid points and I really had to think about what she said. This is the part that made me a bit ill. The most valid point was, "MJ, birds of a feather flock together. A REAL friend tells you that you're drinking too much and you need to slow it down. A REAL friend doesn't encourage you to drink that much. A REAL friend DOES NOT support you when you respond back with, "J, I'm not an alcoholic and I don't drink too much." Her response?

"Yes you do. You hang out with people and all they do is drink. When one person drinks too much, they don't want to drink alone so they fucking drag you down. And you're only ok with it because guess what? YOU dont' want to drink alone either. You need to check your friends. If they live a lifestyle like yours, guess what? They think that it's ok because if they fuck up, you'll fuck up with them. What the hell is your problem M??!! This is not like you. You're smarter. Your friends pull this shit and you're ok with it? Maybe you can't see it. Maybe you think you're doing right. Thank god you have a fucking job and you're doing ok. Don't end up losing your job over this. Where are you friends going to be? Are they going to pay for your shit? Nope. Knock it off, ok?"

Sigh....she's right. But instead of me drinking more, I'll have my friends cut back too so they don't drink as much.

But J, you're right. Birds of a feather DO flock together. What was that quote? Oh yeah....misery loves company. I guess when you throw alcohol into the mix, what you can get sometimes is less of yourself. And when you're drinking with friends, it's even harder to see.

Then one day you'll wake up and see it.

And by then, it's too late.