Signs that you're a bachelor (and have a great weekend!)

Signs that you are a bachelor? (this list was NOT compiled from some random website - this is an actual list reflecting ME hehehe)

1. I use plastic forks, knives, spoons, and paper-plates; no way in hell I'm doing dishes.
2. My refrigerator contents consist of water and beer (how the fuck did that water get in there?)
3. I refuse to do laundry
a)I'm going to run out of boxers, so while I was out getting tennis shoes, I purchased yet ANOTHER package of boxers.
b)I'm going to run out of socks as well, so, you guessed it, I purchased ANOTHER package of socks - I'm good to go for at least another week.
4. When I run out of shampoo and forget to buy some more, I'm going for the next best thing - dishwashing soap. Palmolive conditions while it cleans!
5. There is not a single kb of porn on my comp. (This one is true. It is. Stop smiling. It's TRUE damn it)
6. I do WHAT I want WHEN I want cuz I'm the king of my domain!
7. I have stacks and stacks of Maxim Magazines, but I cut out all the hot girls cuz I don't want my virgin eyes to burn.
8. I have random items all over the floor which includes, but is not limited too: Clothes, video games, trash that I missed getting into the waste basket while pretending that I'm Jordan, food on the ground that missed getting into the wastebasket while pretending that I'm Jordan, and .... even more clothes.
9. Last but not least, what I believe is a true sign of a bachelor? I have THE hottest, sexiest COOK in the world! She's called "MagicChef - set on high for 3 minutes." And there ya go.

Thus my life. Gotta dig it. Have a great weekend guys and look for question #6 tomorrow afternoon! Ciao! Wickedy Wacks