I know what you're thinking, "..How can anyone have a great 'grocery' adventure?" Well, if you were as dorky and iditotic as me, trust me, you can have adventures just getting up to take a piss - you better believe it!
I go to the grocery store cuz I want to buy some tomato juice - I'm craving it for some reason and I look for my normal bottle of Clamato (I hate tomatoes by the way - they suck). Ya see, I have this confession to make - I've drank Clamato for quite sometime, but I have the WORST memory when trying to pronounce it correctly. I seriously do. I don't understand why I just CANNOT ever say it right. The conversation I had with the grocery lady went somthing like this:
Me = WickedHow hard is it to remember to say "CLA-FUCKING-MATO???!!" Welcome to my world.
GL = Grocery Lady
Me: "Hi, ma'am, I was wondering if you have clamydia here because I can't seem to find it."
GL: "Excuse me?"
Me: "I was wondering if y'all had clamydia here? If you could just tell me which isle it's in please."
GL: ".............................................................."
Me: "............................................................."
GL: "I'm sorry, I don't believe we carry that here young man"
Me: "Oh. Um.......do you have V8 then?"
GL: "Oooooohhhh you meant Clamato right?"
Me: "Yes, Clamato. OMG..........*quietly curses to myself**turns beat red**rolls eyes**takes a deep breath**with a rather large grin, I continue*..... Yes ma'am, I'm sorry, I meant to say CLAMATO."
Enter the captions contest!! You guys are doing great! go go go!!!
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haha -you guys - I don't MIND tomatoes, but i do TRY to avoid them - I'm not a big fan of red sauce so like on my pizza, i'll have alfredo sauce if i can get it - but if they don't, then i request LIGHT marinara sauce - meh, that's just me
ReplyDeleteI can understand your desire to not have a lot of tomato, but dear friggin lord...whose crazzy, effed up idea was it to add clam juice to it?? Lets go through the thought pattern here...Hmmm red ripe fruit...good. Lemme sqeeze it into a cup...mmmm gross but good too. Make it into soup?? ok. Add minerals n other vitamins??? great. Add alcohol to it? Brilliant! Ahh what tha hell, I hate living...lets add whale sperm(sea salt) and clam juice to it. Blegh >:(
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