Aight, to all my boys out there that are playing the real life game of "picking up" chicks, I'm about to share an important lesson with you so please listen carefully.
I want to start off my saying I'm sorry for not sharing this information with you sooner - I had limited time and blah blah blah, so I'm sharing it with you now.
When going on a blind date, do not EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER and...... EVER go on a date in which the ONLY picture your date provides to you is from Glamour Shots. I'm not shitting you. Do not fuck with me on this. You have GOT to listen to me on this one. I swear to you, this will save you from a lifetime of mental scarring.
I don't want to sound conceited or shallow, but the idea is, when you go out, you want someone to be honest with you and frankly, if that Glamour Shots pic is the only thing they're willing to send you, then you're being smoked and lied to before the date even starts. Yeah, it's cool that chicks can get all dressed up and look pretty and shit - I'm down with that. But don't lie - be you, don't pretend to be someone you're not.
Ya see, I have a few rules when going out with chicks - The No Glamour Shots one just shot straight up to number one on my fucking list. Number one USE to be that I don't date girls that have bigger arms than me (I lift weights, so unless she's a body builder, odds are, she ain't gonna have bigger arms than me). I have a few more rules, but I'm going to keep those to myself.
Gentlemen - I just want to help. You must heed my advice. Should you run into anymore critical situations, remember, before going on your date, have a friend call you approximately 30 minutes after you pick her up to bail your sorry ass out.
I neglected all these rules. And now look - I have temporary loss of vision in my right eye. Great, there goes my fucking depth perception.
Peace. Wickedliquid the dude's dude
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A lot of chicks are too vain to just take a regular picture of themselves. If they used all that energy they put into their vanity to actually do something about it, then they might be alright.
ReplyDeleteI understand my own sex, and they definitely embarass me a lot...
LMAO hahaha - "Femalians" LMFAO - is that even a word? hahahahha
ReplyDeleteEh...well, it might be if you spelled it f-e-m-a-l-i-e-n-s (note the "alien" in there). Makes sense, right? That's what I thought too...
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