*BOOM!* Ahhh! Yes, That Must Hurt, Quite Understandably

You know, I've heard of people lighting firecrackers up people's asses, but this one is way beyond me. Why anyone would be so much of an idiot as to stick a firecracker in their mouth and light it? But then again, we're Americans, so why should that come as any surprise to me? I mean, NYC residents are enough proof that our culture is more bizarre and confusing than the last episode of Twin Peaks.

I have to ask, why bother with goggles if you're sticking a firecracker in your mouth? I think your mouth would take more of a beating than your eyes could ever possibly. If you're stupid enough to place combustable materials in your..."oral area," then your eyes deserve to be blown out. Mwahahaha!!

That was the sadistic side of me. I'm not usually like this, mind you...