1. Defecate; 2. Place Feces in Hand and Lather; 3. Apply Smoothly to Facial Area

Talk about walking around shit-faced...last week a guy from Atlanta, Georgia walked into a Macy's in Columbus. He went into their men's room, and he shit all over the place and smeared it all over his face. Then he walked around the Peachtree Mall in his anal/facial getup. Finally, someone stopped his demented ass and took him in for psychiatric evaluation. Apparently, he was cleared, and now he's crapping himself in jail.

That reminds me of the countless times people would crap all over the bathrooms in Subway, and one time at work a few weeks ago. Even though our bathroom at work isn't public, we supposedly have to let people use it. Then we get to clean up the mess...damn upper-management. They never get shit on like we do...literally.