Walmart Boy strikes again!

What IS it with my fascination with Walmart? Is it the cheap loot? That smiley face? Or the company policy to hire the creepy door checker when you walk in? First of all, don't let the girls on the left fool you - they are REAL Walmart employees - I shit you not - Playboy (my homies) did a photoshoot awhile back ago - the Girls of Walmart - it don't get better than that! So anyway, here's my adventure(I'll keep it short): I go to Walmart cuz I need toilet paper (using paper-towels don't work) and I purchase something like 8 billion rolls cuz I don't want to go out and buy this shit again - no pun intended(and it's embarrassing enough to buy this monster pack and have it NOT fit into a bag, thereby showing everyone if you're a cheap-ass or not cuz they can see if it's single or double ply). As I park my truck, I see a rather large women with even larger polyester pants running around the parking lot with a flowy, banner/scarf looking thing over her head acting like a flower child that still thinks she's in the 1970's when doing shit like this was "cool." Of course, me being an asshole, stood and watched her for about 3o seconds in the parking lot while praying "please let her fall please let her fall please let her fall - I want to laugh so badly - please please please." She never fell. Damn it.

So while in Walmart, I noticed a pretty bad amount of body odor. Not just the slightly "bad" odor, but that shit that makes paint peel off. Yah, I'm trying to haul ass outta there cuz in that store of about 2000 people, I guess I was the only one that bothered to take a fucking shower. On top of that, there was this one chick that kept staring at me and it gave me the heebie-jeebies; I walked off the other direction and I could feel her eyes on my ass EWWWWWWWWW! As Ludacris would say, "POOF! BITCH-BE-GONE!"

I'm waiting in line and guess what??!! This is the very reason why I started to go to Target: the lines are stacked 8 people deep, there are 22 lanes, of which only 12 are open. Yay Walmart! You cheap fucking bastards.

Long live Target! (Plus the Target chicks are way hotter)

Ciao! Wicked "Walmart-blue is nasty, Target-red is sexy" Liquids